[Solo Ep] Taking Up Space and Allowing Ourselves to Just Be
Episode Description
What is our impact supposed to look like in this world?
As a society of doers, there’s this narrative that says our worth as moms is equal to our productivity, that we must “do” something with our time in order to be worthy of having it, especially something that can be externally measured. But what if our bodies are rebelling and recoiling?
Sometimes the most productive thing we can do for ourselves and our families is to listen and to rest when our bodies call for it. Today, I’m giving you a peek behind the scenes into my own inner callings that have been surfacing lately, and some questions I’ve been grappling with.
For us moms who already “do” beyond the comprehension of money and beyond the hours of a typical job, at what point can we just soften into being?
The need for more
My friend and I both have daughters the same age. We’re considering part-time day-care a few days a week – not quite preschool, but it would be nice to have some extra hands and socialization!
The root of this quest for childcare? Motherhood does not satisfy all of me.
The job of being a mom is challenging and miraculous, and I love it with all my heart, but at the same time, I feel this inner calling, this voice telling me to do something more.
For my friend, she’s ready to ask for help, to welcome more hands into the community that gets to love and support her child’s development. But she’s struggling with one important question.
What will she do with that time?
It’s the same question I’m grappling with. For the first few months of this podcast, I worked on it evenings, early mornings and Fridays, the only day I had childcare. The thing is, I wasn’t making money with it. How could I justify paying someone to watch my daughter so that I can spend time on it?
I’m not going to lie. It feels heavy.
I don’t have the answers, obviously. But here’s what I think – we need time for ourselves in order to be grounded, intentional in what we create. That can be time to nap, walk outside, meet a friend for coffee, sit quietly, or, yes, pursue a passion project that might not lead to financial gain.
Look at how badass we are
Let’s take a minute to step back and admire how much moms do.
We can have a million tabs open all at once. Every decision involves considering the needs, wants and demands of multiple people, and the consequences of all these decisions.
For example, If I let my daughter sleep 15 minutes later, it will shift the entire day, which affects the errands I must run, which impacts when dinner happens, which ultimately affects what time we all go to bed that night. Ahhh!
Every day is a chess game. But frankly, our brains can only do so much.
Can you imagine what solutions will come if we allow ourselves the space for our brains to rest, relax and recharge?
The real goal is clarity
I keep thinking about something Alison Ryan said to me.
(Have you heard our episode released July 4? I strongly recommend it if you haven’t!)
In the episode, she was talking about the pressure she felt to not take medication to regulate her postpartum depression. That if she needed medication, something must be wrong with her. She ultimately “gave in” because she’d gotten to the point where she felt it couldn’t get any worse.
This was SO IMPACTFUL for me.
My dilemma wasn’t whether or not to take medication. My dilemma was whether or not to give myself the time I craved.
But in a way … isn’t it kind of the same?
Beneath the surface, what we both truly craved more than anything was clarity. Our paths there were just different.
What if today, we allow ourselves the space to take action, or to even sit still, rest, and listen to what our bodies are telling us in the moment? We may actually find out we’re on the right path to what we desire.
We are all worthy of this space!
Notable Quotes from Emily
“If we are only able to create space for our brains to rest, to relax, to recharge, I can only imagine the solutions that will come. And not only solutions for a more streamlined day-to-day, but an ability for our minds to signal to us our inner passions, our inner desires.” (6:23)
“It is okay to take up space for yourself. To ask for help. To ask for a moment of calm. It is safe to be quiet in time that does not need to be filled. It is safe for you to do what you feel inspired to do that day, or that hour, or in just these few minutes. And perhaps it just starts with an hour and you sit and you speak or you write with your inner self. Give yourself a bit of compassion, take some pressure off to perform, to produce, and just allow yourself to be. I think you’d be surprised at just what you’ll hear.” (8:59)
Resources & Links
I can’t stop thinking about my conversation with Alison Ryan in Episode 5. Please check it out if you haven’t already!
Learn more about Project: Mom and follow us on Instagram at @projectmompodcast.
Do you want to share your motherhood journey on the podcast? Email me at projectmompod@gmail.com.