Power of Community - Together We Thrive

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Welcome to today's episode of the Project Mom podcast. I want to talk about community today, how important it is, and how we can get it.

I read the headline on my Co-Star astrology app the day I started drafting this episode, and it felt fitting. It said, When you feel supported by love, you can find other kinds of meaning everywhere. How beautiful is that?

That reminds me that with the support and love of a community, we can find joy and meaning in all aspects of our lives.

But building that community for ourselves takes time and effort, which we're unaware of when we start businesses or become moms. When it comes to motherhood, we feel we should have these villages in place to support us. But a lot of us don't. We don't have family close by. We live in an age where transportation and travel have given us the flexibility and freedom to live some distance away from our families. That only happened in the last generation or so. My parents grew up with multi-generational homes and cousins up the street, and these past couple of generations have made major strides in creating environments for ourselves that work towards equality. As we focus on supporting this change, we lose some of that inherent support that those before us may have gotten, like those villages of aunts, cousins, and neighbors who primarily provide for others in the family.

So, from the get-go, we must intentionally create support for ourselves. I know I'm not alone in the thought that I just expected all moms to be looking to make friends. So I figured I could go to the playground, strike up a conversation with the other moms there, and pretty quickly find women who wanted to get together weekly with our rambunctious kids and share our trials and tribulations about motherhood.

I also had a similar experience when I started attending networking events at the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. I expected others to be in a similar situation, looking to find people to become business confidants, best friends, and support as we grew our businesses together. And in both scenarios, I've experienced disappointment and surprise. It is not that way. Only some people are willing or able to meet us where we're at. It was when I tried, did I know.

That's what I want to focus on today. How do we find our people while facing rejection or disappointment when we put ourselves out there? As simple as it sounds, my biggest recommendation is just to keep going. Keep putting yourself out there. Your people will come.

We may need to reframe what we're looking for in each opportunity. Can we see the impact of each person we encounter on the journey as providing us a reflection for ourselves? Can we find the beauty in some of these moments as micro support? That woman you met at the networking event, the one with whom you had an amazing conversation about your businesses, and you realized you're on the same stage of creation together. Yet, she hasn't been as receptive to your efforts about getting together again. We've all experienced that in some capacity. Can we recognize the comfort and support that she was able to give us in that moment? Was she able to remind us that we are not alone in this journey and these experiences? That's impactful. For the moms looking for that community, did you meet someone at the park who may only be visiting the area but she felt like she could be your mom's soulmate? In those moments, she validated some of the struggles you were having with your kids, maybe around behavior, feeding, or loneliness in this journey as a new mom. What a beautiful moment, a micro-moment of support. Not every connection or friendship is meant to last us all seasons.

Let's view those we meet along this journey of creating community, business, and motherhood as micro-moments of support to help us validate what we are experiencing and shed some light and clarity on what we would like moving forward.

How can we find a community that evolves with us?

It comes down to a couple of things. The first is thinking about what your goals are for the community. Is it you're looking for hands-on help with your children? Are you looking for mom friends you can parent with as you work through different stages? Are you looking for a business confidant for accountability or growth?

Next, with those goals in mind, list opportunities near you to meet people who fit this criteria. Think about new mom groups, mommy and me classes, neighbors with young children, institutions that align with your goals, such as religious institutions or daycares that provide childcare, and valuing community gatherings. You may seek communities such as business networking or Facebook groups for mompreneurs.

Ultimately, put yourself out there. Make an effort to join one or two of these and just meet people. The more you do this, the clearer you'll get on what works for you and what doesn't. While you're part of that, you're taking part in that journey; take the pressure off. If we can look for micro-moments of support, it eases some of that tension.

What's great about mom groups or business groups, from experience, is that there's usually a level of commitment of a few weeks of classes or events; you get to see the same folks each week. It takes the pressure off of making the connection immediately and putting yourself out there to swap numbers at the risk of never seeing this person again.

Ultimately, can we trust the process? Can we be open-minded? What did you like about that group or not like about that interaction? Take note. What was your body telling you? Try something different next time.

Making friends in a community takes time and trust. Trust that the people who are meant for you will come and will love you for you.

So, I'd love to know what kind of experience you all had as you tried to build your community. Does this resonate? What worked for you as you found your people?

Find us on Instagram for this episode, and let's start a conversation around what works for us to inspire and encourage those on this journey alongside us.