Releasing the Stories We Tell Ourselves with Lauren Gold
Listen in on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google
Episode Summary
Welcome to today's episode of the Project: Mom Podcast.
Today I'm joined once again by my good friend Lauren Gold. She has been such a blessing in this chapter of my life and a huge confidant of mine as we navigate early motherhood. She is now working as a postpartum doula, offering virtual postpartum doula support and one-on-one coaching, in addition to kicking off some new mom circles.
In our conversation today, we’re talking about the narratives and stories we tell ourselves as new moms, how they aren’t always true, and the different ways in which we can break free from them. Whether you’re trying to conceive, pregnant, or a veteran mama, this episode is for you!
Topics Discussed:
When Lauren first realized that the narratives and story we tell ourselves don’t necessarily have to be true
How the stories we tell ourselves can affect our lives at work, suffering from burnout, and our career path as a whole
The way our generation is mothering differently compared to our own mothers and grandmothers
The different ways you can find aligned support in the fourth trimester and beyond
Some of the stories that Emily and Lauren told themselves as they became new moms and how they’ve banded together to overcome them
How the systems that are already in place don’t really support the village lifestyle that moms desperately need
Finding clues and indicators in the stories we tell ourselves to make changes and feel more fulfilled
Not allowing yourself to fall into the martyrdom of motherhood
About Lauren:
My goal has always been this: to help others feel seen, heard, and confident in their journey. After 10 years in tech and a lifetime of astrological study, I incorporated postpartum doula work into my practice in 2021. I embrace spirituality and bring grounded, level-headed advice to my teaching to help others live more aligned lives. Nothing brings me more joy than helping someone succeed - in their career, new motherhood, relationships, or health. Together, we’ll discover how you can embrace change and live better.
Episode Resources:
Connect with Lauren:
-
Emily Gorrie:
Welcome to today's episode of the Project Mom Podcast. Today I'm joined once again by my good friend Lauren Gold. She has been such a blessing in this chapter of my life and a huge confidant of mine as we navigate early motherhood. She is now working as a postpartum doula, offering virtual postpartum doula support and one-on-one coaching, in addition to kicking off some new mom circles. So Lauren, welcome. Thank you so much for joining me again. I'm thrilled.
Lauren Gold:
Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm honored to be here again. Dynamic
Emily Gorrie:
Yay.
Lauren Gold:
Duo back for
Emily Gorrie:
Honestly,
Lauren Gold:
the second time.
Emily Gorrie:
I'm really excited about where this conversation goes because
Lauren Gold:
Me too.
Emily Gorrie:
I feel like we have these conversations regularly, and we just don't record them, and we should. So don't mind my sicky voice. I'm still recovering from this lovely cold, as you know. So if voice cracks, we're just going to keep this real and keep it going.
Lauren Gold:
Judgment, judgment free zone.
Emily Gorrie:
OK, so let's maybe just set the tone. a little bit for today. So we had a conversation, many conversations, I can't even pinpoint it down to one, about different experiences that we've had over the course of our lives, right? It doesn't always just span through motherhood and this postpartum period. So I want us to dive a little bit into this and talk about how stories and narratives are really something that... impact all of us as new parents, as people who are navigating just different seasons of life, whether it be motherhood or parenthood or not, right? We can all relate to those like different experiences and expectations that perhaps we have on ourselves and kind of maybe don't realize where they're coming from, right? They're maybe just these stories and just narratives that we're taking as truth, but in reality, they're not, they don't have to be true at all. So I want
Lauren Gold:
Right.
Emily Gorrie:
us to really dive. into that and share maybe a little bit, let's start by setting the stage. Where
Lauren Gold:
Okay.
Emily Gorrie:
did you get introduced to this concept of thoughts that the stories in our minds are just telling us just that, stories and narratives, and how do we not take them as truth? When did you first realize this was a concept that could exist?
Lauren Gold:
Yeah, I mean, I think what we're seeing a lot today is like a lot of memes flying around. And trust me, I love an Instagram reel. I love like a TikTok, you know, of like self help. There's
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
sort of like this self help path or this career coaching, or career consultancy
Emily Gorrie:
and
Lauren Gold:
path, whatever.
Emily Gorrie:
yep.
Lauren Gold:
And you hear a lot about that today. And you can, you know, drop in names, you know, Mel Robbins, whoever. I was first introduced to this concept when I was at my most recent employer. which was Asana, and they work with this career consultancy leadership group called Conscious Leadership Group. And it's a training that everyone at Asana goes through, which is really quite amazing. The whole concept is that we carry around these stories, and of course it's all framed in a work context, but we carry around these stories around the things that we're experiencing or the things that we're doing that may or may not be true. and how can you take radical responsibility or radical ownership over the fact that you might be telling stories? And
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
it's a very interesting training. We don't have nearly enough time to get into it, but I really, the concept is that our thoughts are actually separate from us and may not reflect what actually is, what a camera would catch, right?
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
And then how we then project what we think happened versus what actually did happen and how that influences us in the workplace. And so this concept of starting with, you know, in any sort of conversation, whether it's a conflict or an interpersonal relationship or a work project or with yourself, starting with the story I tell myself is, totally shifts this, just this idea that maybe the story you're telling yourself isn't what's actually true and unlocks
Emily Gorrie:
Mm-hmm.
Lauren Gold:
an opportunity, I think, for more analysis, discussion, et cetera.
Emily Gorrie:
Yes, I feel like that's so powerful, right? If we can start to separate in our minds the stories that we're telling ourselves versus what actually might be reality, we can start to show up for ourselves differently and we can start to show up for those around us differently. And I think that is so impactful and radical because I don't think a lot of us even recognize that is at play with ourselves, right? I feel like, right, you had mentioned it, was something that was introduced to you just in your last employer. For me, it was something that I didn't really start to recognize that way until I started working one-on-one with a coach to help reframe some of these stories that I'm telling myself. And for me, it came up primarily in motherhood. I didn't really recognize it when I was still in the career space. So just different phases of life give us these opportunities to start recognizing that. And I think there's like general... like surface level stories, like as an employee or as a career woman, we have to do X, Y, and Z. And as a mom, we need to do X, Y, and Z. But then really when we get to the heart of it, there's probably like very deep rooted stories that are internalized in us that kind of run the gamut across all phases of our lives.
Lauren Gold:
Yeah, and I think you can sort of look at those themes. I mean, there were a lot of career stories I was telling myself. So I guess this would be late 20s, right? I mean, my career path has been, I think a little unconventional. I studied journalism, I had some internships related to journalism, I got my master's in journalism, but then I went straight to like a tech agency in like a program
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm
Lauren Gold:
management role and did a little project management and then. I jumped to another startup in more of a brand marketing role, which was very different than the one before it. And then I pivoted to software implementation consulting and then customer success at another company. And now I'm working as this sole service provider, right? Going directly to the client. And I was telling a lot of stories about that. I mean, it sounds great when I summarize it there, but the story I was telling myself was that I wanted to progress in a more traditional way. I wanted to succeed in tech. I wanted the line on the resume. I wanted the promotion and yet it never felt a line for me. And while
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm.
Lauren Gold:
I was really grateful for those opportunities, I was burning out. Why am I burning out? What is wrong with me? The story I'm telling myself is that something's wrong with me that I was feeling called to change jobs every couple of years. And every job I think was getting closer and closer to something that I was trying to reach, but I could not. name or a team, right? And so
Emily Gorrie:
Sure.
Lauren Gold:
while I watched my friends get promoted or stay at companies or move up the ladder and excel, and I was just fried, the story I was telling myself was that I'm not cut out for this, right?
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm
Lauren Gold:
And really, I think I wish I spent less time telling stories and more time, I think, accepting myself for where I was in my timeline. what is,
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
what is happening right now, and trusting that it was all part of my larger timeline. And then, you know, even at work, a lot of stories around thinking like what I believe is true is just true,
Emily Gorrie:
Mm-hmm.
Lauren Gold:
which is kind of naive. But that's not how it is, right? My truth is not the only truth. And I think in work environments in particular, you need to acknowledge that you might be telling stories and there might be influences on your behavior, right?
Emily Gorrie:
Totally. I think it's interesting that you bring up influences, right? It's like how we perceive a situation is not how perhaps somebody else perceives a situation. It's so important to be able to maybe recognize that it's not the actual truth or the end-all-be-all truth and be curious and be open to exploring what else is out there. I think about too, in terms of my personal experience and... corporate, and we've talked about this too, like the trajectory that I was on. I ended up saying I was only at two companies in my career. And never quite progressed the way I expected to progress. Like I was, you know, I worked in sales, so I was hitting numbers, I was doing fine by all accounts, you know, I was like almost coasting to an extent, you know, I was able to like hit certain metrics and then both times was I, the only two times I made changes was when I was faced with something that seemed completely mind boggling to me. I was like, they came out of nowhere. I was like, you know, I had feedback finally from, you know, higher ups that were like, you need to do things differently. I'm like, where the F is this coming from? Like to me, it was, I was very on like a one track, you know, I was hitting the metrics. I was doing what I was asked to do. Nobody ever said anything to me, you know, so then you get bombarded kind of by these like pivot points to make changes in your career. And I think, and it can be applied to any phase of our lives, but I think for me, that was the experience of like, I... just assumed things were great. And my truth was that I was doing well and things were succeeding because I wasn't seeing the perspective elsewhere, but I also was never asking until it was like smacking me in the face. So I think it's just interesting to think about like perception and like what is actually working for us and kind of how do we take that as a blessing in the larger picture of things. So it's interesting. It's interesting to think. And I think too, like, there's so many stories that we can tell ourselves around, you know, what we're supposed to be doing in careers, especially as millennial women. Lauren, I just want to make sure you're still with me. I don't know if that's my internet.
Lauren Gold:
here. I may have lost you for a second. Can you hear
Emily Gorrie:
I think
Lauren Gold:
me?
Emily Gorrie:
we're good. Let's just give it a minute. Yeah, we'll just give it a minute to catch up. I
Lauren Gold:
Okay,
Emily Gorrie:
think it might have been
Lauren Gold:
one
Emily Gorrie:
me.
Lauren Gold:
minute.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah, you're good. Okay, I can see you now perfectly. Are you good? Okay. Sorry, go ahead.
Lauren Gold:
Anyway, lost our beat for a second there.
Emily Gorrie:
That's okay. It happens.
Lauren Gold:
I think that there were a lot of stories going at work. It made me a better leader at work
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
to recognize that there are stories. And this thought, like, what would a camera catch?
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
Wow, you know, like that really sort of shifts things. What would the facts say? And then what's the story you're telling about this? And what's the story I'm telling about this? So it shows up nicely in conflict, you know, interpersonal. whatever. But there, but I think this more introspective path, which I think is sort of what you and I are leaning toward when it comes to analyzing your career, analyzing where you're going, even more interesting to me, you know, like what are the stories that we're telling ourselves about our path? And, you know, when we start to ease into this world of pregnancy, birth, postpartum, new motherhood, tons and tons of stories come to us both from outside marketing. and what we perceive as our experience. And that has been, I think, just a huge theme for me ever since my pregnancy. And it continues. I continue to check myself to this day with like, what's the story I'm telling myself about this scenario?
Emily Gorrie:
Totally. And I think maybe we start there and maybe we just see like kind of and share some of those reflections because I think great hindsight is always a little bit clearer. And I think about for me personally, and I've shared this many times with you, I've shared this many times on the podcast, like the initial stories that I was sharing for myself as I entered into this new phase was a lot of shoulds and a lot of shoulds around the experience that I personally had. growing up around watching my mom be a mom to me and my sister. And this expectation that, you know, we are almost self-sacrificing ourselves at a time for our children. And to me, it felt so overwhelming, right? So like, I look back on it now and I recognize it doesn't have to be done that way. And like, maybe that was my mom's truth and still kind of is her truth. And I think it's interesting when you start to talk about this more and more. I mentioned it to my mom, you know, when I was, I don't know, six, seven months postpartum, you know, and Olivia was, you know, just as old. And I was like, how do you do this? Like, how do you get to a part where you're content with what your day-to-day now looks like? I feel like I am just putting everything on pause. And she said to me, she said, Emily, like, you only have to do it until she's three or so and goes to school. And I'm like, what? So. You have to also take into account the perceptions that other people are living, the truths that other people are living on what's expected of them. And how do we check those? And how do we say, wait, it doesn't actually have to be done that way?
Lauren Gold:
Yeah, I mean, I want to like sort of back up maybe to like birth and postpartum. I mean, it's just like that to me, there's like a ton of stories around people's birth stories, right? And then
Emily Gorrie:
Totally.
Lauren Gold:
also what that fourth trimester should look like. And we see a lot of like best month ever. you know, best day
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
ever, the day my child was born, you know, best day of my life or best four weeks with our newborn or whatever it is. And that was not my experience, right? And so I think that when we start looking at the truths, like there are some factoids, right? There are some facts, like the hormones that rise, you know, through your entire pregnancy and you know, whatever, that's progesterone, HCG, estrogen, all going up, up as you approach your birth. You're feeling great. After delivery, your progesterone and your estrogen plummet like very quickly, right? After birth,
Emily Gorrie:
Right.
Lauren Gold:
it's the biggest hormone drop. I just read this. It's the biggest hormone drop a woman will ever experience in her entire life, right? Progesterone and estrogen going all the way down, flatlining, right? And prolactin and oxytocin going up. And so, story I told myself was like, I should be enjoying this.
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
Lauren Gold:
I mean, or I should feel better about this or I should be able to handle this. And factually, like there are a lot of physical indicators that would tell you otherwise. And so I think specifically in this fourth trimester, you're trying to figure out nursing. Your doctor tells you one thing, your lactation consultant tells you another thing, your instincts are talking to you, but you're talking yourself out of it. All of these conversations are going on and there were a lot of stories circulating in my head that I should be able to reconcile all of these
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm.
Lauren Gold:
voices and things going on
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
when in fact that was not going to be the case. And I think a lot of women really struggle, and this is part of why I'm starting to do the work that I'm doing, I think a lot of women really struggle to find a trusted voice to aid their own, right? Because everyone's like, trust your instincts, trust your instincts, right?
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
The story I'm telling myself is that I should be able to trust my instincts, and yet I'm awake in the night, scrolling through Facebook groups, feeling very
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
alone, feeling very alone, right? And so I think until, you know, about three months postpartum when when those hormone levels balance out a little and come back to their pre-pregnancy level, I mean, like, you're telling stories, right? And your hormones are telling stories. And I just think that it's such an overwhelming time for new parents and women in particular, and something that I don't think gets discussed enough, frankly.
Emily Gorrie:
It definitely doesn't. I mean, I along those lines, like think about the narrative going through my mind at that time. Like I chose this. I chose to be a mom. I should be happier in these times. This was a choice I made. I'm not happier. So now I just have to accept it as is. And I think for me, there's also the extension of like the fourth trimester, you're absolutely correct, right? In terms of like hormone levels, physical changes, our bodies are just trying to regulate right alongside sleep deprivation and physical healing as well, right, in terms of how our birth itself actually goes. And I think there's not enough credit or support that goes into recognizing that we are allowed to need support during that time. I think people just go into it thinking like, okay, well, I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna have to do it. This is a choice I made. I'm in it for the long haul. So there's not enough of that. And then I think there's also just this recognition or this story that once you're done with the fourth trimester, everything should be back to normal or you should be good to go. And
Lauren Gold:
Right.
Emily Gorrie:
it's not. I mean, we know from research and studies that have been done that it can take up to a year to
Lauren Gold:
even longer.
Emily Gorrie:
feel and even longer to be better to feel back into your body. I mean, they don't recommend you get pregnant again until two years postpartum, right? Because your body physically is nowhere near the level of pre-pregnancy function, right? So there's just a lot of that. And I think we don't give ourselves as new moms enough credit for just what it
Lauren Gold:
Yeah.
Emily Gorrie:
is we're going through. And there's all these stories that we're just not doing it right.
Lauren Gold:
Yes, the story I told myself was that I couldn't handle it and I should be able to. The story I told myself was I should have known this would be hard and prepared more accordingly.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
I mean, that's sad. I feel bad for myself.
Emily Gorrie:
Ha ha.
Lauren Gold:
I think, you know,
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
of course hindsight is 2020, but... there's just a lot of second guessing, you know, a lot of hormonal changes, a lot of physical things that are ongoing that are influencing, I think, the way we talk to ourselves, right? And the way that we're handling what's in front of us. And you mentioned your mom. It's funny talking to our mother's generation. I think our generation is doing things a little bit differently. we were given this message, like, and you and I have talked about this, we were given this message that we could do it all. And I don't know what do it all really means. But we're all, you know, seeking education or seeking careers and seeking partners and seeking families and trying to build these families. But we then you sort of realize that you can't do it all, I mean, or you can do it, but in a different way. And there's not necessarily education really on how to navigate these challenges, right. And so Moving into this doula work, I think a lot of my focus has been to become like a trusted voice, really in that fog of the fourth trimester. Someone to offer perspective, someone to tell you that you might be telling some stories, to call it out for you, to check you
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
on the things you might be saying or feeling. And yeah, provide that support that I think everyone could really use during such a sensitive, sensitive time, you know?
Emily Gorrie:
Totally. And I love that you highlight that too, because I think, I look back to my experience, right? And we met when the girls were, I don't know, five, six months respectively,
Lauren Gold:
Yeah.
Emily Gorrie:
right? Like right around that. So we're in the thick of it at this point, right? And we may have shared this in the last episode and we met at a mommy and me class and it ultimately felt like we were able to be that for each other. It really wasn't until that moment where we started having some conversations and I was like, oh wait, this chick might actually know what I'm going through. Wait, she's actually being open to sharing some feedback with me around her experience. And I felt comfortable enough to share some things with you and we were like, let's make this a thing. And I am so grateful for that because I think... not everybody finds that so quickly. And I think we were able to find that in each other. And I wanted like just highlight in here too, like there are ways to find yourself that support. If this like this episode is resonating and you're feeling like maybe these are some thoughts that you're having as you know, someone who's listening, like there are ways to find some support, whether it be putting yourself out there a little bit more willing to be a little bit more vulnerable. But also finding somebody or an also like yourself whose mission and values really align with supporting women through this time because these stories can really run the gamut and take over.
Lauren Gold:
Yes, the story I told myself was that I was alone in all those middle of the night feedings and 3am moments, right? And I don't think I was. I mean, biologically, I know I wasn't. Surely there were other
Emily Gorrie:
Sure.
Lauren Gold:
babies and little nightlights on, you know, all throughout the world in the middle of the night. And that brings me comfort now to think about that. But this evolution of finding your unique to each individual. And to offer my past self a little bit of self compassion, I didn't know what kind of support I was going to need. I didn't know how I was going to feel. I try to tell my friends and clients in their second or third trimester with ease and with love that while this is a very exciting time, you don't really know what your postpartum period is going to look like. And I'm not just talking about mental health. I'm not just talking about postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. I'm talking about what your birth is going to look like, your physical recovery, what your emotional state is going to be like, what your family network looks like, what kind of grandparents you have in your life, what kind of hired help, what kind of village you really have, right? And if you can reach a mom to be, sooner rather than later.
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm.
Lauren Gold:
I think you can sort of catch them before some crazy stories start coming out in postpartum. However, I know that I was in a very happy bubble when I was at the end of my pregnancy and I don't know that those messages would have landed until I was in it. And
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm.
Lauren Gold:
so I guess I guess the story I told myself was that no one else was going through what I was going through, and I was going to have to go out this alone. And I guess if my message now would be... you need support. I don't know what it looks like, whether it's one-on-one or finding
Emily Gorrie:
Yep.
Lauren Gold:
a mom friend like you or attending classes or talking to your doctor, finding a therapist. I don't really know. But I'm hoping that I can find more people at that vulnerable state of life, right, and help intercept those stories before
Emily Gorrie:
Totally.
Lauren Gold:
things get... before things really drag them down, right? And drag
Emily Gorrie:
Totally.
Lauren Gold:
their families down.
Emily Gorrie:
I love that you share that because I want to share kind of the opposite experience. So I knew going into having my first kid that I was terrified of being a mom. I was already doing some one-on-one coaching, was already starting to identify some of these stories that were, you know, really... infiltrated in my mind on how motherhood had to be, the sacrifices that I was going to have to make, the martyrdom that was going to have to, you know, be at play. And I was already doing a lot of work ahead of time to recognize those stories. I still fell into that experience of the story I told myself was, I'm just clearly not strong enough to do this, despite
Lauren Gold:
and
Emily Gorrie:
the support I already had. So I must just continue on this way.
Lauren Gold:
Mm-hmm.
Emily Gorrie:
It's not going to get better because I've already tried the work. And I think in this spirit of kind of reflection and sharing back on that is like, that's really where the work continues to be. And that's why I think to your point, you don't really know despite how much prep you do or if the reflection lands or if that work ahead of time, you don't really know how it's gonna resonate with you in real life experiences. And I think that's just such a beautiful reminder of like, you can do all the prep ahead of time, but you really cannot control some of the... outcomes of what your birth's gonna look like, what the experiences are gonna look like, how your hormones are gonna react, how your physical recovery is gonna look, how your kid is feeding, are they sleeping? And I think just remembering that those outcomes are not a reflection of you or the work that you've done or haven't done ahead of time to get yourself into this situation is key, first things first, but also to remember that you can choose to do things differently and find some support. And I think for me, that was the biggest thing. I never shared some of those continual resentments I had because I just felt like I tried to do the work and it just is what it was and it wasn't working. So I, and this must be how everybody felt and just no one talked about it, right? The story was that this was everybody's experience, even if we weren't talking about it. So I shouldn't complain. This is what I've chose. This is what I welcomed. This is what I wanted. So I think just with that reflection, it doesn't have to be. And
Lauren Gold:
Thank you.
Emily Gorrie:
maybe we can use me as a case study going into this second pregnancy.
Lauren Gold:
Thank you.
Emily Gorrie:
But I'm still trying to do some work with leaving their door open for additional support after he's born, because you really can't tell. You don't know.
Lauren Gold:
Yeah, the story I told myself was that I should be able to do it all myself. I don't know where I got that story. I think society, let's blame society.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
I think society told me that story. But I told my mom, I think I was around a year postpartum and I was starting to think about weaning, breastfeeding. And I told her, I said, my martyrdom is not cute. It's no
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm.
Lauren Gold:
longer cute. I recognized that I was being a martyr. And I didn't know how to put that backpack down. I just had this story going that I should be able to do it all myself. And I don't know why I felt so strongly that everything baby related had to be me. Couldn't put the baby in the hands of someone else. Couldn't bear to be away for too
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
long. You know, all of those things. And I know every woman probably comes to that in her own time. And I don't judge any woman for her timeline, but I think it was really damaging for me. mothering and parenting cannot and should not be done alone. And I think other countries have really great models for this, countries with better maternity leaves that have mandatory counselors who swing by your house, mandatory physical therapy, more village style, societal structures or countries where it's more normal for extended relatives to live in the home, et cetera, these
Emily Gorrie:
Yep,
Lauren Gold:
sort of built
Emily Gorrie:
yep.
Lauren Gold:
in support systems. But But I hear what you're saying really deeply when you're like, I guess I need to shut up because this is just how it is. And I'm really hopeful that this is the generation that says, this is not actually how it has to be. And you can assemble your team. And it doesn't need to be like a going at it alone type of adventure. You know?
Emily Gorrie:
Totally. And I just having like going through this the second time around, right? Building this support team, doing things differently, right? Like I have a lactation consultant on board, you and I are gonna do some work together in the postpartum space. I have a birth doula already lined up, right? There are things that I'm putting in place this go around, but it's not cheap. And that's
Lauren Gold:
Right.
Emily Gorrie:
the frustration also.
Lauren Gold:
It's a big problem.
Emily Gorrie:
society, the structures that we live in, you know, those systems that are already in place really don't support this village lifestyle. They don't really support this. And I think that's also a story here, right? From society and the systems that are in place, I'm not worthy of that. And I think there's a lot to be said, and we won't go into it around, you know, the medical system and how we get support for ourselves. Like, you know, systemically and things like that. But it's just, for me, it's a hard one to swallow. And there's a lot of gratitude that I have to be able to financially support myself this way with these types of additional measures to get me through some of the things that are giving me fear or pause this next go around.
Lauren Gold:
Something that comes up with my friends a lot, and now clients, is no one gets a straight path. No one gets a straight easy path through this. I don't care who you are, I don't care what you tell me, something is going to be challenging. Your pregnancy, your birth, your physical recovery from birth, your emotional, hormonal, mental health recovery from the birth. your postpartum, your physical health or the physical health of your child, God forbid, of course, breastfeeding, your child, you know, spit up, gas, reflux, sleep,
Emily Gorrie:
Mm-hmm.
Lauren Gold:
the behavior and temperament of the child, how postpartum and just welcoming a baby or baby number one, baby number two into your family disrupts your family dynamic and how that affects your partnership, your relationship, your career. touched. Something will be challenging. And what I have been trying to tell my clients most recently is when the bump comes in the road, I'm so glad you had a great birth or I'm so glad you're feeling great, you know, postpartum. Oh, all of a sudden, like, baby's up all night, or baby has terrible gas pain and reflux or whatever it is. I'm here for you. Something will be hard. There will be a bump in this road. And how are you going to handle it?
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm.
Lauren Gold:
Hopefully you have some people on your side, right? Some support, experts, groups, doctors, I don't know. Hopefully you can find someone on your team to really help you get through it. But I just sort of want to validate, like if something feels hard for you, it's because it is,
Emily Gorrie:
Okay.
Lauren Gold:
and you're not the only one who's gone through this hard thing, and prepare. If you, I don't wanna scare people, but if something's
Emily Gorrie:
Ha ha.
Lauren Gold:
not hard yet. If something's not hard yet, I can almost guarantee that there will be a hard thing. And what are the stories you're telling about those hard things, right? So that we can break it down and help you get through it really
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
is my goal.
Emily Gorrie:
I love that too. And I think what a nice reminder is too, from what you just shared of like, when things inevitably get hard and I think, however we perceive hard, right, like you said, is valid. It's absolutely hard and the experience in which we're receiving it. And I think the big thing there is, what is your plan? What is the game plan? And I think it is a nice reminder that you don't just have to have a... quote unquote professional, right? I'm grateful and blessed that I can hire some professionals, but I think about back to that first year, right? Like you are such an amazing confidant for me that we were able to start recognizing some of those stories and at least validating that our experiences were similar. So whether or not we're actually being like, oh, the story I'm telling myself is, we were able to at least validate for one another. So I think that's such a amazing takeaway of like when things inevitably get hard, Who can you call? Who can you reach out to? Who is around the corner? Who's staying with you? And I think that might be maybe the biggest reflection we can have going into new seasons of life, whether that be another child, a new child, a new business, or taking a new job, or starting a relationship, leaving a relationship, right? Whatever that ultimately looks like for us. Like, who can we call when we inevitably face something that poses a challenge to us, right? And it doesn't have to be someone that's paid. It can be somebody who's a beautiful reflection for you or a new friend or, you know, who can give you support in these like little micro moments.
Lauren Gold:
I think back, everything you're saying resonates and reminds me of, did you ever watch Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
So they're getting towards
Emily Gorrie:
Uh
Lauren Gold:
the
Emily Gorrie:
huh.
Lauren Gold:
end, right? And they have all these options to help them answer the questions. And one was, pull the audience, right? And I love that, right? I love this concept. And this is... for everyone, right? No matter what you're going through, whether it's postpartum with a baby or otherwise, figure out who your audience is, who you will poll. Because look,
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
Facebook groups, that's a pretty big audience. It's
Emily Gorrie:
this.
Lauren Gold:
the wild, wild west. It's the wild, wild west there. But I learned pretty quickly who my audience was going to be. And some of it was, okay, this friend was also exclusively breastfeeding, so we can talk breastfeeding. And this friend's child is eight months older than mine, right? So she has a little bit more perspective. Oh, and this friend, I know that her child also had, you know, a tongue tie.
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
Right. So can we talk about these things? And it's sort of like assembling your crew and knowing who you're going to pull, right? When, when you need help. Now the, the downside is don't pull too many people, right? Because the more people you ask, the more opinions you're going to get. But. I really liked this idea of just polling your audience and like, let me see
Emily Gorrie:
Yep.
Lauren Gold:
what Michelle says, let me see what Hillary says, let me see what Julie has to say, and then, okay, I can take it back and I can form my own decision and make the decision that's best for me. What's the other one? Call a friend. I
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
used to love that show,
Emily Gorrie:
This
Lauren Gold:
I
Emily Gorrie:
is
Lauren Gold:
really
Emily Gorrie:
so
Lauren Gold:
did.
Emily Gorrie:
good.
Lauren Gold:
It's like call a friend, phone a friend. Again, like the specific expert, and to me, if you translate this to birth. baby's first year, whatever you want to talk about it, it's having your friends assembled, your lactation consultant, your postpartum doula, your local resource, your local mom group, your verified resources of someone who you know is really an expert in lactation, and someone who you can really trust. What was the other one? Eliminate your options or something where you could
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah,
Lauren Gold:
get
Emily Gorrie:
it was
Lauren Gold:
rid
Emily Gorrie:
like
Lauren Gold:
of...
Emily Gorrie:
pick two, you could choose to eliminate two of the wrong answers, right?
Lauren Gold:
Yeah, yeah.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
And I love that. I love that too. Wonder where he is. Read his film. And when you think about eliminating your options, right? It's how can I simplify this? Like how can I tune out the noise and like really parse
Emily Gorrie:
Parse down. Yeah, you
Lauren Gold:
down,
Emily Gorrie:
got it,
Lauren Gold:
parse
Emily Gorrie:
yeah.
Lauren Gold:
down, yeah. To get down to like what my real priorities are,
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
right? And to me, that's like discussed with your partner, right, or whoever's raising this child with you of like, what are the facts and like what really works for me? And like, I need to tune out this noise and like really, really get down to like, am I going left or am I going right? Right?
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah, totally.
Lauren Gold:
Were there any others?
Emily Gorrie:
No, I think that was it. I think
Lauren Gold:
I think
Emily Gorrie:
it was
Lauren Gold:
that was
Emily Gorrie:
three.
Lauren Gold:
it.
Emily Gorrie:
I think there was three. Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
I know. But I really thinking about like pulling your audience is really big to me while also remembering that like your voice is the most important. But if you have a good audience, like if you have a good circle around you, they're gonna check you on it a little bit. I mean, I remember like, I was like baby led weaning or, you know, are you doing purees and all this stuff? And one of my friends said to me, she was like, you can do both. Like, what? You know, and she just sort of called me out on the fact of like, it's varied. You know, there are shades
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
of gray, you know, like. I don't know, you know, and that was really helpful perspective for me. I mean, I told myself so many stories, right? I told myself I shouldn't be feeling this way. Well, lo and behold, there are other people who are feeling this way. Right. I, I told myself that I was alone and that's
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm...
Lauren Gold:
now true.
Emily Gorrie:
Mm-hmm.
Lauren Gold:
I told myself so many stories about my body, particularly as it related to breastfeeding and weight gain around breastfeeding, um, and increased hunger. around
Emily Gorrie:
Yep.
Lauren Gold:
breastfeeding. I mean, man, I had a lot of stories going around in that world. And a friend pointed out to me, she said, she said, you know what, Lauren, I've always known you to be someone who's really in touch with your body. And would you consider for a second that maybe this is just where your body needs to be right now?
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
Like, oh, wow, you know, so many stories going about what I thought I should be or where I thought I should be postpartum. And really like a quick pull of the audience was able to kind of bring me back down to earth, right?
Emily Gorrie:
Totally. And I think too, right, there's this story that there's like one right path too of like, oh, the new research shows that baby led weaning over purees reduces the risk of choking later or whatever, right? There's all these, we can really get bogged down in research behind different choices that you can choose to do in motherhood breastfeeding versus formula. We can really get lost in that rabbit hole. And I think there's the reminder. And to have that group around you to say, hey, wait, there isn't just one right way to do this. Or try this way, and if it doesn't work for you, try another way. I think the biggest thing for me was around breastfeeding. I could not breastfeed my daughter for, honestly, the life of her. I could not do it. Physically, my body was not capable of producing for one reason or another. And I think there was a lot of people so many stories around that, one of them being, there's something wrong with me,
Lauren Gold:
Mm-hmm.
Emily Gorrie:
that I should be able to do this, that this is
Lauren Gold:
So
Emily Gorrie:
the
Lauren Gold:
toxic.
Emily Gorrie:
highest and best path, right? And to your point, right, just a couple of conversations, like with my sister, who was going through something similar at the time with her newborn, with, I mean, I didn't know you at the time, but like with, you know, a couple of friends of mine, and I was one of the first that had kids, so I had some friends that had kids, but they were kind of like second circle. friends, like it was none of my best friends. So I had some women that would call me, they'd be like, they even would check me on it. They'd be like, Emily, like if it's not working, it's just not working, there's nothing wrong with you. So I think just being able to find people, even if they are kind of second circle, to bounce some ideas and some stories off of to make different choices. I mean, it can't get much healthier than that.
Lauren Gold:
Totally. I mean, so many stories that we've both sort of touched on. The story I told myself was I should be grateful, I should
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm
Lauren Gold:
be fulfilled, I should be happy. But now I sort of like this idea of respecting the stories a little bit more and maybe wouldn't it have been nicer to just to take them as clues or indicators? Okay, the story I'm telling myself is I should feel more fulfilled, but I'm not. And why not? And can we dig into why, right? And maybe make changes.
Emily Gorrie:
Yep,
Lauren Gold:
And
Emily Gorrie:
totally.
Lauren Gold:
that's a big conversation that comes up in these client sessions of mine is, okay, in postpartum or a message I'm hearing all the time is I felt like I had spent my 20s really finding myself and working through my stuff. I got clarity on my career path. I had clarity on my relationship with my body, you know, finding exercise, learning how to nourish myself properly. I found clarity on who I wanted my life partner to be. What were those qualities? I was fortunate to find my life partner and, you know, get clarity on our relationship and get married. And suddenly, like I've sort of flatlined,
Emily Gorrie:
Yep.
Lauren Gold:
I walked away from my career or I started a family and I'm trying to juggle it with my career. a lot of stories going on about identity, right? This huge identity shift of motherhood, who I was and who I am now are different. And what are the stories I'm telling myself about that? Right, and how do I come out of that? And how do I become the caterpillar that transforms into the butterfly, et cetera, et cetera? And I think that it's just not. something that you can sort. I mean, maybe some people can do it by themselves. I certainly can't. I just don't know, you know, how to navigate something like this totally alone. And, and, and I, frankly, I wouldn't recommend going at it alone to, to literally anybody.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah, absolutely. I think there's so much. There's so much in there that we can't, like in our minds, in our emotions that are really, like you said, clues, right? Now I'm going to do an episode on this. Well, I've already written it. I think by the time this is released, oh man, testing my schedule knowledge. I don't know if that episode will be out or not. I think it will about emotions, right? What are emotions actually telling us? Can they be these beautiful messengers for us to? guide us to a place that really works for us in this season of our lives. And you're right. I mean, to be able to sit internally with our own thoughts and check ourselves and say, okay, the story I'm telling myself is, and I'm feeling sad, angry, resentful, stuck, scared, not good enough. not important enough, whatever those stories might be, and then be able to say, okay, what is this telling me about how I'm living my life or how I'm aligning my values with my actions? How is, what is it? It's almost an impossible task. I mean, it's so overwhelming. Like I think about, I mean, I, having done some one-on-one coaching, have some tools and tips and tricks to help me do that, but I am by far and large not as successful at that as I am when I'm working with somebody who checks me on those stories. And I think if we want to do things differently, make some changes, we have to be kind of willing to do some things differently. And part of that is finding somebody to help us do it.
Lauren Gold:
As we're talking about this, I'm trying to cultivate some self-compassion and grace, I think, towards myself and who I was going through this, I would say, maybe first year postpartum. I really love this idea of respecting your stories and respecting what
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm
Lauren Gold:
I viewed maybe as mistakes. Mistakes.
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
Or pitfalls. Or... turns, you know, twists and turns in my story. One thing that I don't think it's discussed enough is postnatal depletion.
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm
Lauren Gold:
Very common for women to enter into a vitamin D deficiency in the first year postpartum, iron deficiency, B12, yada yada. I mean, that list really does go on and on.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
And I think I had a story going about my energy levels and I thought it was just because I was exclusively nursing and they, lots of statistics about what, you know, breastfeeding does to your energy levels. It's like running a marathon each day or walking seven miles. I don't know the
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
exact statistic, but I sort of looked around and I noticed that a lot of women around me with babies the same age as mine had bounced back in terms of energy levels, their ability to go out and do things, getting out of the house. And I was trying so hard. six, eight, 10 months postpartum to get out, to get going, to do things. And I was just so exhausted by the end of the day. And I had this story going that I should be able to handle it. Everyone else can handle it. And why am I so tired? And maybe this is because I'm in my 30s, I don't know. A lot of
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
stories that I, I had so many stories going that I should be able to handle this better. And it wasn't until. my annual with my OB and she said, I think we should run some blood work, right? And it turned out that I had a crazy vitamin deficiency and as soon as I started supplementing with that vitamin, it was night and day with my energy
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm
Lauren Gold:
levels. And so to me, we shouldn't just write things away, analyze, reason things away. I think women are very quick to reason away their symptoms. And I wish I had listened. a little more closely or used it as an indicator and really trusted myself to get myself looked at and I tell my clients, get some blood work, get your blood work done
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
and listen to your body. Listen to your stories. Is it a story up here? Right? Or is it a story in here? Right?
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
We really do have a voice and can you tap back into it in the flurry of all the over analysis, analysis paralysis, information being thrown at us, yada yada, words coming out of your Facebook groups, et cetera.
Emily Gorrie:
Seriously, I think that's such a beautiful reminder because there is like this insane bounce back culture that we should be able to like do things in a certain amount of time and feel better. And it isn't until we start to have those conversations, right, that experience of yours in particular is like just a great reminder that if we can share some of these. feelings, whether it be with providers or friends or support systems or whatever, there's likely something that's going to come from it that we didn't think of on our own or we didn't think to explore on our own. You never would have said, oh, maybe it's vitamins or maybe my
Lauren Gold:
Right.
Emily Gorrie:
body is just not the way it's functioning the way it's supposed to be. It was these narratives and these stories in your head. So just again, coming back to that community. this support system that you create for yourself and just how vital and how impactful that can be on this experience. Just, I feel, you know, as we're talking, I just always have to give myself a little bit of grace too because you reflect on it and you, I think the biggest thing that you said too is right, can we respect those stories? Can we respect those experiences versus having regret and frustration? and anger and I think just having a little bit of compassion for myself and the experience that I went through the first time and knowing that I may not be able to control if those feelings start to show up again, but I do have some tools in my pocket now to help me navigate through those sooner or to
Lauren Gold:
Yes.
Emily Gorrie:
look at things sooner or to reflect on something sooner, to check me sooner before I let myself just spiral into a situation that really doesn't have to be.
Lauren Gold:
Yeah, I think if I had known, if I knew then what I know now, I would have gotten some baseline blood work before getting pregnant. I would have educated myself more during the pregnancy on what hormonal changes to expect and what the first few months really look like from a baby care perspective, but also more breastfeeding education, more like sleep education. and also the woman's body and healing education. I think I would have focused less on, although I loved the baby items, picking
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
your stroller. That was really fun. And I don't wanna take that away from anyone. I think that's wonderful and so cute and
Emily Gorrie:
Ha
Lauren Gold:
exciting.
Emily Gorrie:
ha!
Lauren Gold:
But I think I would have spent more time, energy and money on assembling my postpartum care team, finding a therapist, so much work. right, finding someone who works with your insurance, etc. I think I would have gotten, you know, a therapist, a birth or doula, a postpartum, something or another and found some sort of support group or community or classes or new mom circle to really find and create this new world for myself, right, once
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah,
Lauren Gold:
I had that baby.
Emily Gorrie:
totally. And I think ultimately I'm contemplating putting something together in terms of what I've done to prepare for this baby. Could this go around in terms of reflection and maybe that something we'll throw together and release right around the same time of this episode of that reflection of if I knew then what I know now, this is what I would have done and here's what I'm doing now. And I think... As you go through it the first time, there's always some blind spots. There's no way that you're going to be able to prep yourself for everything. But I think it's interesting as you're going through it a second time, at least for me, to be able to say that felt like a blind spot for me the first time. I don't
Lauren Gold:
Mm.
Emily Gorrie:
want to feel that way again. And setting up some of those support systems in place, kind of ahead of the game at this point. So I'm... actually feeling excited for this birth, which I,
Lauren Gold:
Love it.
Emily Gorrie:
I maybe will regret saying on air and in a recording, but I wasn't always that excited with the first one. Like there was a lot of fear that was coming up for me with the first one. So I'm so, I'm thrilled that there's a little bit more excitement this go around because I don't feel like I'm going at it alone anymore, which is a really a beautiful thing.
Lauren Gold:
I love that. With every birth, a new mom is also born.
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
I love that, right?
Emily Gorrie:
We'll see
Lauren Gold:
And
Emily Gorrie:
what she's
Lauren Gold:
so,
Emily Gorrie:
like this go around.
Lauren Gold:
yeah, can't wait to meet her.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah.
Lauren Gold:
Can't wait to meet you. Emily, 2.0, 3.0? But.
Emily Gorrie:
We'll find out. There might be a couple iterations in the next go.
Lauren Gold:
Oh my God. But, you know, there was a new you and a new me when our daughters were born. And we need to allow space for that and, you know, give some grace towards those stories that we were telling when maybe we were becoming who we are now. And I think when you have number two, you will be new again. And I have to remind the second timers of that,
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm
Lauren Gold:
because yeah, the second timers know some things, you know, you're less phased by the color of the duty diaper
Emily Gorrie:
Right.
Lauren Gold:
or, you know, the fussiness. You know, you have more, you have your confidence, I think, around
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
certain elements of baby care and how you want things to be done, but you will be new again in other ways. And there may be some stories there too, right? So. you know, tread lightly and with grace, I think.
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
If I may, what stories do you think are coming up for you today as you're nearing the end of your pregnancy?
Emily Gorrie:
Honestly, a lot of mine have been around business. So actually like launching and sustaining the identities of me outside of motherhood. So for me, honestly, when I first found out I was pregnant, the story I told myself was, I'm going to have to sacrifice again.
Lauren Gold:
Mm-hmm.
Emily Gorrie:
Or I'm not. It's an interesting one. I'm not worthy enough of taking time for myself now, even though it's interesting because that's one that I absolutely worked through with my daughter. So it really is. interesting to watch these stories come back up again in
Lauren Gold:
Mm-hmm.
Emily Gorrie:
different phases because they're ones that you think maybe you've processed and it's an ongoing journey. So for me the big one is around how do I support myself, my individual identities, things that bring me joy, continue to help me feel like me at the same time as wanting to still be present with my new family and how do I not? fall into martyrdom in a time when it's going to feel challenging to put myself first. And I think for me, that's just reminding myself that I'm worthy of putting myself first, which is why I like immediately came to you and I was like, I want you to help me because, right, a lot of the work that a postpartum doula does is, and you know, kind of correct me if I'm wrong, is like, you support the mom, right? It's like, how are
Lauren Gold:
Mm-hmm.
Emily Gorrie:
we? healing, how are we supporting our bodies, how are we supporting our nourishment and whether it be physically or mentally or emotionally. And then, you know, especially a second time moms, right, you said it, the baby care is kind of already in place. We know kind of logically how to take care of a baby, feed, sleep, you know, bathe. You know, we kind of have all those like already down pat, but it's... the new experience of what our bodies need, that's really up in the air until we experience it. So for me, yeah, it's like, how do I remember to put myself, continue to put myself first, and how do I support myself in putting some systems in place, whether that be postpartum support or business support to get the, to keep the momentum going on everything that I've created thus far for me.
Lauren Gold:
It's overwhelming. I phrased it like this, you spend all this time like building your house, right? And building your business or building well, the kind of parent you wanna be or the type of spouse you wanna be. Building your friendships, building your community. And then like, I feel like baby comes along and it's like you've just sort of flatlined or it like crumbles to the ground or something and you have to rebuild. And that was a tough pill for me to swallow.
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
The work is ongoing. It's
Emily Gorrie:
It's a process, always.
Lauren Gold:
a process. And that's why we see the same stories come up time and time again. I have a lot of stories around mistakes, perfectionism, shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Emily Gorrie:
Mm-hmm.
Lauren Gold:
And so we start to identify, like you say, martyrdom, we start to identify these patterns start to break through, build yourself back up. What do we want your new house to look like? How do we design it? And with every new baby, I think there's another renovation coming.
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
And while we can plan ahead, you're not entirely sure what it's going to look like. And just this framing of the story I tell myself is. hopefully can be really helpful to pull yourself out of it, right, when you're in some sort of spiral or think pattern that's not exactly serving you.
Emily Gorrie:
Totally, totally. I think maybe with that, let's wrap it up here. I wanna give you a quick opportunity just to let everybody listening know where they can find you, how can they engage with you, whether it be from this perspective of a new mom circle, one-on-one coaching, virtual support, what does that look like and how can they reach out?
Lauren Gold:
Sure, you can find me at As Told by Lauren Gold on Instagram and on my website. I'm currently offering one-on-one virtual postpartum doula support. So think about those fourth trimester things, emotional support for mom, and also troubleshooting some of the feeding, sleeping, and common themes that you see with infants and babies, now transitions. navigating weaning or
Emily Gorrie:
Hmm.
Lauren Gold:
you know your pumping schedule whatever it might look like I'm here for that. And yeah I'm kicking off these new mom groups hopefully sorted by you know due date to put to put women together right and me in person this would be most likely in person although virtual is also an option if there was enough interest to really help women cultivate and develop that community find themselves again make friends connect with women whose babies are the same age. and use me really as that guide to facilitate and lead conversations about around these common themes that everyone's going through, whether it's going back to work, figuring out childcare,
Emily Gorrie:
Mmm.
Lauren Gold:
talking about your birth stories, etc. So stay tuned for more on that and yeah, thank
Emily Gorrie:
Yay.
Lauren Gold:
you for having me again. I'm
Emily Gorrie:
Yes.
Lauren Gold:
so lucky.
Emily Gorrie:
I love it. I also just want to highlight from what you said, too, in terms of the work that you're offering, I love that it isn't just the fourth trimester. You're really highlighting that the ongoing work is and can be potentially into the years in the making. It's like we are always as new moms and as business owners navigating something. whether that be weaning from breastfeeding or nap transitions or sleep struggles, right? Those don't just happen while the baby is three months old or less, right? I mean, I'm still dealing with sleep struggles. I feel like we talk about sleep, you and
Lauren Gold:
all
Emily Gorrie:
I
Lauren Gold:
the
Emily Gorrie:
regularly,
Lauren Gold:
time.
Emily Gorrie:
like still, and our daughters are over two at this point. So
Lauren Gold:
Well...
Emily Gorrie:
I love that you highlight that and you offer that because it's so vital we're not alone past that fourth trimester.
Lauren Gold:
you're not alone. And what I said before, I said, with the birth of every new baby comes the birth of a new mom. I also believe that as you move through every stage with your child or your children, you also become someone new, right? So you go from the infant stage to the baby stage, early toddler hood, middle toddler hood, late toddler hood, young child, with every new phase your child enters. you to enter a new phase and how can
Emily Gorrie:
Absolutely.
Lauren Gold:
you navigate that as gracefully as possible is what I like to focus on.
Emily Gorrie:
Yeah, I love that. I love that. So for anyone listening who is interested in gaining some support, whether that be in the fourth trimester, in pregnancy, in the years that follow around motherhood, please reach out to Lauren. Please reach out to me. We are happy to be communities sounding boards and just build each other up and support one another. So Lauren, thank you so much for being
Lauren Gold:
Thank
Emily Gorrie:
here.
Lauren Gold:
you.
Emily Gorrie:
I always love chatting with you.
Lauren Gold:
Me too, thank you so much and hopefully we'll talk again soon.
Emily Gorrie:
Probably in an hour. I
Lauren Gold:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Emily Gorrie:
love it. How do I maybe end this recording?
Lauren Gold:
and scene.
Emily Gorrie:
Maybe I'm having, so I just, my recording stuff? Yeah, right.
Lauren Gold:
Yes, you are.
Emily Gorrie:
Haley, you can just cut this part out. I don't know how to get rid of the bot.
Lauren Gold:
How
Emily Gorrie:
Okay,
Lauren Gold:
do you stop it? I don't
Emily Gorrie:
well
Lauren Gold:
know.
Emily Gorrie:
there is a stop button, but. But here's technical difficulty Emily today. I'm on a, let me try moving it. I'm on a second screen. Oh, here we go.