When Worlds Collide: Balancing motherhood and entrepreneurship

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Welcome to today's episode of the Project Mom Podcast.

I just recorded an episode with Katy Murray, whose episode will actually be released in September, and she said something that really resonated with me. She has a photography business, as well as a virtual assistant business, she works full time and is a mom to a three and a half year old. During our conversation, she shared a story with me that really resonated that I wanted to dive into before her episode even goes live.

She had shared that she had a client reschedule their photoshoot to a day where she didn't have childcare and her partner also had work, and at the insistence of her client, Katy was welcome to bring her daughter to the shoot. She was a bit hesitant, but her client was insistent and so she did – she brought her daughter and it was tough. Her daughter only wanted her and Katy felt as though she couldn't give her full attention to her client, but it turned out OK. The client loved her photos and all was right.

But for Katy it was a lesson learned. She didn't want her worlds colliding like that. It didn't feel honorable to her as a mom or as a business owner. So she knew right then that she needed to communicate this as a new boundary to her husband and that they needed to come up with a different plan for upcoming sessions and one in particular where this lack of childcare was scheduled to happen again.

And Katy's experience reminded me of something that Lori Aikman had said to me on her podcast episode on the Project Mom podcast that was released on June 19th. Just a quick reminder, Lori owns The Vibrant Woman, which is a virtual practice that helps female entrepreneurs up-level their health. So definitely check out her episode if you have not.

But she reminds us just how vital it is that we look at what's not working when we're balancing a business and being a mom.

So I wanted to spend a few minutes today exploring the concept of looking at what's not working. It's easy, especially for me, to get swept up in doing the fun parts or parts of work that give us joy and we put the stressors on the back burner, right? Or sometimes we get bogged down in the parts that give us grief and feel as though we can't move forward because this is just how it is.

What I loved about Katy's story is that instead of being resentful towards her partner, because she's the one that had to bring her daughter to work in times of event conflict, or getting angry because this is her reality now and it's just how it is and continue to put herself in situations that don't light her up or allow her to be the best mom or the best photographer she can be.

Instead, she chose action.

I mean, how many of us have just accepted a situation and did nothing to prevent it from happening in the future? Full of transparency, I have for sure.

So I wanted to put out some tangible tips on what action can look like to improve situations that just aren't working for us.

For me, I think it's most important for us to start by just identifying what isn't working. Upon reflection, some questions that I think we can ponder to achieve this understanding are –

Where do I have dread?

Where do I have resentment?

What frustrates me?

What do I just not want to do?

Has there been anything on my to-do list just sitting there for weeks?

Next, it's also super vital that we identify what our ideal scenario would be. So ask yourself –

If it was simple, what would you do?

Can you give the task to somebody else?

Can you hire a babysitter to watch your kid every Monday afternoon?

Next, and I think sometimes this could be the hardest piece of the puzzle, is taking a breath and actually believing that you are worthy of that ideal scenario, because even if you don't fully buy into that right now, it is true. The more you remind yourself of that, the easier it will be to believe it.

Next –

Can we communicate these needs and these desires to our support team?

Can we do it in a way that's not nitpicky or resentful or frustrated?

This communication is a big part of how we can move past these situations from happening again. So can you as a team with your support team or your partner identify three things to try and make this scenario a reality?

I think it's important to also remember that both you and your partner can be responsible for making this a reality.

So, you're both responsible, let's say, for looking for a new babysitter because you both have work conflicts. Make a plan - who can they reach out to and who can you reach out to? Have those discussions together.

Another option to make this a reality is that maybe babysitters aren't an option that day. So what else can happen?

Can my client or my meeting shift a day or time?

Can I take this call at a local coffee shop or gym that has child care?

Perhaps those aren't options, and I just realize that Mondays are going to have to be family days because my partner has work that can't be rescheduled. If that's the case, can I set a boundary in the future that there are no meetings or work or sessions on Monday afternoons?

These are just a few things that we brainstormed. So try one thing and if that doesn't work, try something else.

Ultimately, remember that you are worthy of the support. It will come.

For me, I always find, and I've said this a handful of times throughout all of these episodes, that action leads to clarity. So can we take some action, even small action, to lead to clarity on what type of support will work for your particular situation? Can we be open-minded and trust that we will get the support we need?

I do want to share the caveat that it will take effort. It may take time, but ultimately, you are worthy of that support. This is just a tailored example for child care, and in particular with Katy's situation in mind.

But what about in your business?

What isn't working for you?

Are you stressed because you're staying up late every week to get the same repeat tasks completed?

If that isn't working for you, who can you outsource that to?

That's my challenge to you this week. What isn't working for you at home or in your business? And can you identify three ways to try to give yourself support so that you can show up as your best self in motherhood and in business?

And as always, be sure to tune into our weekly episodes of the Project Mom podcast for more inspirational stories and motivation to create a life and a business you love.