Aligning with Your True Priorities
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Welcome to today's episode of the Project Mom Podcast.
I want to talk about priorities and making choices that align with those priorities and our values.
As an individual, I find that we are pulled towards different priorities throughout our journey. And this is okay. Some seasons, you'll maybe feel compelled to be more present with your children. Sometimes, you may feel the drive to focus a bit more on your business. I'm a believer that we can do both, but maybe not all by ourselves.
I feel like once I became a mom, the other facets of my identity were reevaluated through that lens, the lens of stories and narratives of what we were supposed to do as moms and the role we are supposed to play for others in our lives. At times, I found myself putting myself last; the things that used to bring me joy were the first things to go when I was faced with financial changes or time crunches…my needs come last to those that I'm nurturing.
I want to talk about the idea that we can do it all, but not at the same time. Why is there this idea that we have to do it all by ourselves, that we aren't worthy of support, of asking for help, of changing our priorities, even changing our minds?
I want to look at the importance of identifying what our priorities are at this stage of our lives. What is it that we as individuals want to accomplish, and are our outward choices reflecting those desires?
I want to be a present mom when I'm with my children, but I don't want to give up 100% of those opportunities that allow me to learn or connect with others. That connection and creativity really allow me to be the best mom I can be. So, I put my daughter in daycare. This is no secret; I shared this 100 times when she turned two. I had to trust, really learn to trust, that the people who are supporting her at school are meant to be a part of her journey and a part of her care team. I remind myself that I don't have to be the only one who provides her nurturing and love and lessons each and every day. And yes, while she needs that from me, it doesn't have to exclusively be from me.
She also needs a mom who loves herself and gives herself what she needs. Ultimately, this space allows me to do that. Now, with this second baby on the way, I knew it was important that I set myself up for success through a maternity leave period. I want this space to be focused on my family 100% of the time as I heal and as we explore how our family is evolving into a family of four. But I also knew the sadness and possibly resentment that I'd feel if I put my projects on hold again. So, for me, prepping this podcast to function without me for a period of time was really vital. That's where an amazing team comes in. I'm really grateful for Haley and her team, that have been nothing but supportive as we figure out what that sustainability looks like while I'm out.
So, if you're feeling like you're spending your time on things or with people who drain your energy that doesn't make you feel good or don't bring you an element of joy, I urge you to pause. I urge you to go inward.
I've put together some reflection questions for you to help you get started.
Can you get clear on your priorities as an individual and actually be honest with yourself? Can you get vulnerable and face those stories that tell you you shouldn't want something? What limitations are we setting on ourselves because it's expected of us from external sources?
And it can go in either direction, right? If your priorities are screaming to you that you wanna be home more or be a full-time stay-at-home mom, great, why not? If your feelings are telling you that you want something more than being a stay-at-home parent or more than a person who juggles being an employee with finding the time to be home, then also great. Listen to that. Identify what it is that you want. Is it lighter energy, more freedom, more presence at home with your family? Do you want to learn more, to start over? Listen to that. If it were simple, what would it be? What would you do?
Can you believe that it is safe to pause? Can you believe that opportunities will come back to you? Can you believe that you are worthy of receiving support, whether that be financially, energetically, or in the format of time?
It is remarkable what the power of attraction can do for you. If you're constantly having negative thoughts or you're speaking, thinking belittling thoughts about yourself, that mindset will continue to show up in your day to day. As that manifests in our day to day, it really attracts and impacts those around us. Our kids will see how little we value ourselves and our skill sets. The type of clients we attract will continue to test our value and probably not respect the boundaries or the work that we do. So, something to consider: how are we showing up internally, and how is that impacting our external experiences?
There's power in action. Can you trust that everything you've experienced thus far brings value to the table? That your journey in your career, your journey as a mom, has its place in your experience, and that everything you've been through and learned up till now will give you a unique way to show up for others in your life?
Whether that be in business or with your family, we're constantly evolving, and we're constantly improving and empowering our skill sets.
And so what I ultimately love about these reflection questions is that they help us put light on the ways in which we may be holding ourselves back? Each of these requires us to take responsibility, empower ourselves, and reframe our mindset so that we can live a life that aligns with our values and our priorities.
Can you commit to the inner work, the identification of your own priorities and not of those of society or the people around you, but you, yours, and your immediate family units alone? Can you then make choices that make you feel good and bring you happiness and fulfillment in all aspects of your life?
If you end up going through this exercise, I'd love to know what you come up with. Are you living your life in alignment with what matters to you? Or are there changes that you'll be making in order to give yourself the opportunity to find the right harmony for you and your family?
Remember, you are 100% a valuable part of that equation. Your needs have room at the table.
So, with that, I wish you grace as you continue to create a life you love.