Mom Energy and Relinquishing Control with Hillary Elliott
This week’s guest, Hillary Elliott
A mom, graphic designer and owner and art director of Agate Mountain Studio
Episode Description
Want to know one unexpected benefit of motherhood? Mom energy.
This is what today’s guest, Hillary Elliott, calls it. The mom, graphic designer and owner and art director of Agate Mountain Studio says learning to advocate for herself inspired her to help other women do the same.
In this episode, Hillary and I talk intensely about mom energy, relinquishing control, pursuing a career you’re passionate about, and how, sometimes the universe has a funny way of just working itself out.
The power of relinquishing control
When Hillary had her son, she knew she didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom. She likes recharging by leaving the house, going into work and being creative. During her maternity leave, she was counting down the days till her return to the office.
Then the pandemic hit. She strapped her baby to her chest and plowed ahead.
At the same time, Hillary was experiencing serious postpartum depression but was keeping quiet about it. There WAS help around – both her and her husband’s parents lived very close – but part of her felt she should do everything on her own because, in her words, she CHOSE this.
I feel that. That was a huge part of my first year of motherhood, too.
At times, there were moments I was absolutely miserable, but I told myself, I needed to accept this, because this is what I chose. But giving birth can send your body through some serious trauma, and recovering from that is not a one-person job.
What tipped the scales for Hillary?
She felt asking for help would make her a better mom. It’s a good thing she had this resolve because it took reaching out to FOUR doctors before she was able to get an appointment and medication for her depression.
For a lot of us, that’s the biggest challenge – relinquishing control and accepting help. But it doesn’t need to be so hard. We don’t need to suffer because a choice was made, because there are always NEW choices to be made, too.
Using that “mom energy”
Having her son empowered Hillary to better advocate for herself, which ultimately bled into her professional life, too. She calls it the “mom energy!”
In the last couple of years, she’s taken a new role at work, and she comes into the office with the goal of empowering her clients and the people she manages to advocate for themselves and their careers.
Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman in the workplace. Hillary says it can feel like you’re already set up to make less money. But it’s so important to advocate for yourself and your family. This involves asking for raises, but also setting boundaries.
Which, of course, is also hard if you have clients lining up at the door. But, she says, if they really want to work with you and it’s meant to be, those clients will wait. And if you’re in that high of demand and you’re working yourself to the bone, here’s Hillary’s other advice:
Self-reflect. Then raise your prices.
The way it was always supposed to be
When Hillary first had her baby, she and her husband were both working full-time.
Her husband was in the military for eight years, and while in duty, suffered injuries that compounded over the last ten. Recently, he became unable to work his physical job anymore due to back pain.
So, they switched roles. He became the primary caregiver and Hillary went back into the office full-time. She says it feels like the decision they were meant to make from the very beginning.
Sometimes it’s funny to see how the universe pans out.
While the decision was an easy one to make, that doesn’t mean the transition was. As Hillary says, mom guilt is real. She and her son were together 24/7 while she was working from home. But she feels it’s good for him to be away from her a little more, to become a more independent child.
Notable Quote from Hillary
“If you are in that high of a demand that you’re working yourself to the bone, and you still aren’t getting the financial aspect, you should probably self-reflect, advocate, get the confidence and raise your prices. “ (46:54)
“And so I do feel like, becoming a mom, I felt empowered after advocating for myself, and that has bled over into my professional life, too. I’ve got that mom energy, you know. I come into work, and I feel like I can help others.” (27:07)
Resources & Links
Did you enjoy this week’s conversation with Hillary Elliott? Follow her on Instagram, and visit her website to learn more.
Learn more about Project: Mom and follow us on Instagram at @projectmompodcast.
Do you want to share your motherhood journey on the podcast? Email me at projectmompod@gmail.com.