Pivoting, Mom Guilt, and Finding Your WHY with Nancy Nguyen
This week’s guest, Nancy Nguyen
Mom and creator of the YouTube channel Happily Ever Nancy and the podcast Hey Mama Memos.
Episode Description
My sister and I each have toddlers a month apart.
We became pregnant during the pandemic and didn’t get to see each other during our pregnancies. Our babies didn’t meet until they were five and six months old.
Granted, we live a plane ride away from each other, but still. This isn’t what we expected when we decided to have our children. We expected it to be the most beautiful experience – and of course, parts of it certainly were – but for us, and most new moms, sequestering our children to prevent infection wasn’t part of it.
Today’s guest is Nancy Nguyen, a wife and mom to a two-year-old daughter. Nancy is also a Chinese-American lifestyle and motherhood content creator from San Diego. She’s the creator of the YouTube channel Happily Ever Nancy and the podcast Hey Mama Memos.
Like me, Nancy had her daughter in the midst of the pandemic, and in this episode, we chat about how we combat dreaded mom guilt in all its iterations – in pandemics, at work, while pursuing new passions (that may or not make money) – and how finding our WHY can make all the difference.
Rebirth of herself
Nancy started her YouTube channel in 2010 while she was a marketing student at San Diego University.
The degree and passion for content creation led her to jobs in social media and marketing, but in 2018, she decided to quit and dive into content creation full-time. After quitting, she realized the stress of her previous job was enormous, and the time away allowed her to decompress.
There’s so much value in that – taking that time to decompress and take a look at where stressors are coming from. I remember having a similar experience when I quit my corporate job in 2018 to take time for myself.
When Nancy became pregnant and had her daughter – just before the pandemic’s start – she found this new sense of purpose, both in her life and her business. Having her daughter caused her to remember her own stories and memories she hadn’t truly processed as a young girl.
It felt like a natural progression for Nancy to share her motherhood journey on her YouTube channel, from registry tips to her incredible birth story, and it took the channel to a whole new level.
Mom guilt, in pandemics and at work
For Nancy, so many uncertainties of the pandemic manifested their way into mom guilt. Was she not showing her daughter enough experiences outside their home? Was she, Nancy, not doing enough? (But on the other hand – there was the pandemic! Shouldn’t safety be her first priority?)
It’s the experience of being a first-time mom; our minds run rampant. Am I doing this right? If I do THIS, what are the consequences? Will my daughter remember I kept her in the house for six whole months?
Working, Nancy felt there was another dichotomy. On the one hand, she sometimes didn’t feel as worthy or that she couldn’t have as much say because she didn’t have a normal 9-to-5 and wasn’t making as much money as she’d been before her baby.
It’s interesting because I’m also having this piece of guilt. Do I make enough from this hobby to justify the time I’m spending on it away from my daughter?
On the other end, Nancy says she sometimes feels guilt WANTING to monetize her content due to that narrative about SELLING OUT. It would sometimes make her nervous taking on a brand deal.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Moms out there: how do you deal with mom guilt, related to the pandemic, to work, or to starting your own business? Let us know!
Knowing your why
Nancy lives in a three-generation home, and much of her work she does with her daughter present. But when her baby girl turned into a toddler, it became more and more difficult to film YouTube videos.
Frankly, her daughter just didn’t like it when Nancy whipped a camera out.
One the one hand, Nancy understood this. They were having fun! Maybe she should work later. But on the other hand, her job was to create lifestyle content. At this point, Nancy hit a creative rut and didn’t know what she wanted to do anymore.
Around her daughter’s first birthday, she had the idea of creating a podcast, Hey Mama Memos, so she could create content that didn’t involve documenting a toddler who didn’t want to be filmed or photographed. It was also something new to try, which was exciting in itself.
There’s absolutely something to be said for pivoting – reevaluating and seeing where life takes us and pursuing careers that derive from our passions. As she discovered, it didn’t so much matter the media she was creating, just that she WAS creating.
At a certain point, Nancy would run into a roadblock. Before trying to turn her passion into a job, content creation was all about fun - pure joy. Nobody was watching. Once she realized it was something to make MONEY doing, it began weighing on her.
When this happens, Nancy says it’s so important to tap into her WHY. To believe in what she’s doing, her mission, because eventually the path will reveal itself. If we’re not open to trying new things, or pivoting, like Nancy did, we won’t figure out what works for us.
The silver lining? When our kids see us loving work and trying new things, then, hopefully, they’ll be open to the idea, too.
Notable Quotes from Nancy
“When I gave birth, it was almost like a rebirth of myself. I know people say that all the time. But it became this moment where I’m like, wow, I trusted myself so much in that moment, and I had such a beautiful birth experience, it just made me feel inspired to continue sharing more of our motherhood journey.”
“If you're not open to trying new things, then you're not going to figure out what works for you. And for a long time, I didn't want to try new things. I thought, okay, it's just gonna be YouTube and that's it. And I felt really bummed out when maybe if I hit this subscriber count, all these things will happen for me, but it didn't. Now, what do I do? What does that mean? And I think that could apply to any platform you're on or whatever goal you're trying to reach. That's why pivoting is so important.”
Resources & Links
You can find Nancy on her website, her YouTube channel (Happily Ever Nancy), her podcast (Hey Mama Memos) and her Instagram page.
Learn more about Project: Mom and follow us on Instagram at @projectmompodcast.
Do you want to share your motherhood journey on the podcast? Email me at projectmompod@gmail.com.