Rebranding After Motherhood with Cristin Wondergem
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Episode Summary
I remember being at the height of my pregnancy and just being so big, so tired, and so overwhelmed. I think this happens to a majority of moms, especially if it’s their first pregnancy and they don’t know what to expect. But what happens when it gets to the point when we feel like we can’t keep moving forward at our current pace with our current responsibilities?
Cristin Wondergem is on the podcast today and I’m honored to have her share her story of starting a business, getting pregnant, and shutting it down before eventually beginning again. This episode is for any mom who is struggling with the ebbs and flows of motherhood and entrepreneurship, hopefully you’ll listen in and feel a little less burdened with where you’re at.
Topics Discussed:
Cristin’s journey from starting a business, getting pregnant, and shutting it down before eventually beginning again
Realizing when your side hustle may no longer be aligned with your current mental and physical needs
How Crisitn supported herself when she went back to a 9-5 four months postpartum
The importance of being able to advocate for ourselves in the workplace and having a team who is understanding
Balancing your needs and support system with what your partner needs
How Cristin handled her rebrand and shift in her own business after coming back to entrepreneurship
Overcoming the mindset and visibility block that comes with knowing your close personal friends follow your business
About Cristin:
Cristin helps women grow on Instagram with organic social media strategies, build a business online and show up as the expert. For 10+ years, she’s helped small business owners who have felt defeated with digital marketing, overwhelmed with where to start, and frustrated with growing their social media presence. She’s also helped big brands who have needed the same guidance and help to build their online presence. Creating a digital organic strategy for small business owners and getting their social media content aligned with their brand goals and driving traffic to their website is her JAM! She takes downtime seriously and would rather take a spa day over a shopping day. She loves a margarita and time spent grounding in nature, preferably anywhere close to the water. A few years ago she traded the beach for the mountains for a new life adventure and is married to the love of her life.
Connect with Cristin:
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emily_gorrie:
Welcome to today's episode of the Project Mom podcast. Today I'm talking with Kristin Wondergem. She has found a passion in helping women grow on Instagram with organic social media strategies, build a business online, and show up as the expert. She's a mom of one and is truly embodying what it means to navigate motherhood and entrepreneurship. So Kristin, welcome. Thank you so much for chatting with me.
cristin_wondergem:
Thank you for having me on. I'm very excited.
emily_gorrie:
Yes, I always love getting to know different women who are referred to me by other women that I've had on this podcast. So I just am excited about this community that it's building. So I'm grateful that you are willing to be a part of it. And I want to start with this kind of just an understanding of your journey of kind of where you started, what you're doing now, where motherhood fit into all of that career journey, what does this look like for you?
cristin_wondergem:
Okay, well, to
emily_gorrie:
Where
cristin_wondergem:
start
emily_gorrie:
to start?
cristin_wondergem:
off, yeah, I'm like, where to start? Exactly. Yeah, okay, so let's see. I got my start in digital marketing. Gosh, I feel like it's close to almost 15 years ago now. And I've just always, like even just from a really young age taking it all the way back to childhood and. and selling Girl Scout cookies, I've always had this entrepreneurial spirit inside of me. So kind of fast forward to my teen years, always kind of doing two things at once or three things at once, whether it's my after school job, and then during the summer, I have that job, but I'm also babysitting on the side. And that really hasn't changed at all, even into
emily_gorrie:
Yeah
cristin_wondergem:
my, you know, post college life and into my career of digital marketing. So yeah, I've been in the digital marketing space for like I said, probably about 15 years. And so that's all taken all different types of twists and turns, agency life and then working in-house and all of that, but all along the way, still having that entrepreneurial sort of just like spirit. nudging and pulling at me of like, okay, well, what else are you going to do? Like, there's just always been that desire
emily_gorrie:
Yep.
cristin_wondergem:
within me to kind of have something else. Something else that's just mine to work on and have that sort of that outlet. And so that's kind of taken the it's gone the route, I guess of social
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
media. So that has always been a big part sort of in my digital career, of course. And so, yeah, I kind of started playing around with taking clients on part-time, definitely kind of like freelance, like just here and there as they came up.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
And I mean, it's just fun. I think that I am a worker bee, like through and through, I think you have to be to like, you know, constantly juggling all of those different sorts of things.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
So fast forward, definitely like, I would say mid career, like definitely start playing around with the idea of like, do I want to do this like as my actual like career? Do I want this like kind of freelance like side gigs? Do I want this to be my full blown, you know, career path and being
emily_gorrie:
Yep.
cristin_wondergem:
an entrepreneur and. go the agency route and build up my own agency. And so
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
I definitely started thinking that was probably my that was my path. And as that's kind of happening, there's some big life changes, my husband and I actually moved out of state. And he is an entrepreneur, we own a flooring business. And so that was Um, I mean, that was kind of a lot to like move out of state and start over.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
So he had to start his business over from scratch completely. And so at that time, it just really didn't make sense that we would both be arriving to a new location and both be kind of starting from the ground up. So,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
um, I found an amazing job and I'm still there today, but, um, again, in the digital marketing space and. Um, After probably about like six months or so, as I kind of get acclimated, I really start kind of like diving in again to doing some freelance side work
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
and kind of make a little bit of a go at it. Like not necessarily thinking that it was going to at this point, like be a full fledged replacement of my current job, but. Definitely wanted to make it a little bit more professional. You know, at this point,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
it's like, I've been in the game for a while. So I get the website.
emily_gorrie:
Totally.
cristin_wondergem:
I start showing up like on social as the person, um, you know, and. Being a social media expert, I guess, for a lack of a more creative term, but, um, so yeah, um, that just kind of keeps going and, um, you know, have some clients. Um. pretty consistently, but never, never like, like too many clients where I couldn't
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
manage that and my regular nine to five. And then, you know, on top of all of this, my husband and I, we struggled to get pregnant for about three years. And so in moving and kind of starting over and doing all of these like
emily_gorrie:
Mm-hmm
cristin_wondergem:
life things, there's also that in the background of
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
trying to get pregnant
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
and all of that. And luckily in 2020, I was able to get pregnant. And so that was an amazing thing. So there's all this excitement in our lives. And I definitely started, like, I don't think it started until maybe six months into my pregnancy where I really started to think about like, wait a minute, like. Basically, it was like that wake up call when you're so pregnant, you just like are tired and you're kind of being
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
I really started to think like, wait a minute, I don't know if this is sustainable for me. And I just, I had these really, I don't want to say quiet thoughts, because they were loud.
emily_gorrie:
Hmm.
cristin_wondergem:
But I was terrified of what I was thinking, because I sort of built up this identity around
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
the fact that I do social media and this is what I do and this is what I'm good at and this is just what I do. And I could not allow myself to even think of what would I be if I don't have this side business of doing social media for people. It was... I mean, obviously, I can look back on it now with, you know, a little bit of that like hindsight, like vision, but it was really hard for me to even say out loud, I had some friends at the time in this kind of mentoring program. And I it was it seems so silly now, but it was hard for me to even say those words out loud, like, I don't know if I want to do this anymore.
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
I'm tired and I don't want to show up to motherhood. Feeling like I have to juggle all of this extra stuff and be stressed all the time. And so that was really definitely a tipping point of how kind
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
of like where things have led today. And so it's been a journey, but I'm definitely still I'm still on this entrepreneurial journey, but I decided after, you know, really getting comfortable with the idea that like, maybe it was okay that I didn't have this additional thing
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
from, you know, an additional job to my nine to five job, which is
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
a whole other thing I'm sure we can get into a little bit later, but
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
maybe that's okay if I don't have that because I wasn't naive by any means. I knew being a mom was going to be a lot and just being a mom in general you're juggling just a lot of things and so I got comfortable with the fact that maybe I just wasn't going to have a side gig anymore. I wasn't going to have a side business and that was okay
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
and I kind of grieved that for a while and it was such an eye-opening experience. that I even felt that I had to grieve something,
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
let go of this side business. And you know,
emily_gorrie:
Absolutely.
cristin_wondergem:
I don't know, blaming it on becoming a mom and like kind of having this like, I think it's like such a spiritual journey of being pregnant and bringing life into the world that it was just kind of like I don't know if awakening is like the right word for it, but it was almost as like I was returning to myself in a way where
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
it was like the experience of motherhood and being pregnant and knowing that I struggled to conceive and that this was now like this beautiful time that I had really hoped for and prayed for and like wasn't quite sure if I ever was going to get this experience. I... was very... cognizant of like what I wanted and intentional about like what I wanted my life to look like when I had my baby boy eventually. So
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
with that, I let the business just sort of dissolve. I finished up like with my two clients. And I said, you know, I'm just going to give myself time to rest and think about what it is that I want. Because
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
I don't know if it's this anymore. So I'm still kind of on that journey. I have some things, a little, some things figured out about how I want to show up for myself. Cause that's still, that voice there is still kind of nagging but I wanted it to be something that's like really aligned.
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
And yeah, so that's kind of where
emily_gorrie:
I love
cristin_wondergem:
we're
emily_gorrie:
that.
cristin_wondergem:
at now.
emily_gorrie:
I really appreciate you sharing all of that because there's a lot of different ways that like motherhood can rear its head right in our lives. And I think there's something to be said for slowing it down and taking a step back and recognizing that this hustle for lack of a more creative word, And there's this need to just ground a little bit more so you can intentionally show up for something that was just so... important to you. And I love your, like, thought of grief, right? You're sharing with us this grief that you had of this changing of an identity and a lot of conversations that I have with other women through this podcast and just, you know, in and out in daily life. And I think for myself, too, it actually felt I was grieving the other way of this like loss of time for myself.
cristin_wondergem:
Mm.
emily_gorrie:
appreciate you sharing this grief of just letting that go because in choosing to slow down and taking the step back and have the intention to be present in your pregnancy and enjoy these moments that you had really desired for so long. So I appreciate you sharing that. And maybe we can touch on that just a little bit in terms of this period of transition, to slow down. And I do appreciate you also saying there's the spirit still there, right? The tug is still there to do more. But the timeline, you can trust the timeline a little bit, right? There's a there's a way to say, I know in time that the opportunities will come back to me. But right now, the movement isn't aligned for me and my family at this moment. So I, about in this transition, you're six months pregnant, you're working through this, how did you support yourself through that? I mean, I know you had mentioned a little bit about this community, saying the words out loud, how did you support yourself through actually making this decision to just do things differently that it just wasn't working for you anymore?
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, you know, I, it was hard. It was just a lot of a lot of thinking and allowing myself to listen to my own thoughts.
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
Because I, I'm sure I'm not alone in the fact that like, you know, it's very easy to kind of turn off like, those internal thoughts and feelings, but really just allowing myself to hear my thoughts and sort of feel and try to get to the root of like why I was feeling the way that I was feeling to kind of like lean into I guess the anxiety of what it would mean to kind of let this go and what it would mean to kind of have like a shift in my identity a little bit with that. So really just kind of spending like quiet time like I would say it like I feel like I did a lot of just like solo walks.
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
and slowing down in order to kind of process through everything. Um, and that was definitely, that was hard for me. Like that is not something that I usually do. I'm kind of just like full speed ahead. Like I'll think about it on the way to do X, Y, and Z, and
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
I'll figure out a solution then or something, you know, that's kind of typically how I handle things. So, um, I really had to slow down. Um, yeah, I mean. prayer, talking it through with friends that I trusted to, you know, either just listen or would be like a good sounding board for me. And
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
honestly, I mean, I feel so cheesy, but I think it was such a millennial thing. But like journaling, just
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
getting those thoughts out of my head and onto paper helped because it was just like... you know, just as strong as that like entrepreneurial spirit is inside of me, like these thoughts, it was just like they were loud and they were like, no, you are not listening.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah. Pay attention to us, please.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, exactly.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah. I it is really shocking. I think when you like look back at just how much motherhood and becoming a mom really upheaves everything that you know and kind of have relied upon in the past, right? It's like the go, go, go just really was it sounds like wasn't an getting so loud that it was really vital for you to slow down and take those moments and listen. And how does that look now for you? I mean, we've, you've shared, right? You've put this business on pause, right? You are working nine to five. There's so much value also for being a nine to five employee, right? There's a lot of safety in some regards, right? With, you know, benefits and of routine that you can expect from all of that. So how is motherhood, how is that shaped for you now? Like, how does that and working look for you right now?
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, I mean, it's still hard.
emily_gorrie:
Yes, absolutely.
cristin_wondergem:
I mean, I think that, you know, it kind of goes without saying, but it's like, no matter which way you size or dice it, motherhood is hard if
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
you're a solely a stay at home mom or working from home mom or outside of the home, whatever. But, you know, it was still a struggle to Oh, gosh, it was just talk about I don't know, I felt like it was definitely like this just two sides of me constantly competing like once. I had my son and then it was time to go back to work. I had a hard time leaving him. It was very difficult for me. I always thought that I would be like, oh no, I can't wait to get back to work. And it was the opposite feeling. And so I wasn't really been prepared for that either.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
Even though there was like this overall feeling of like, slow down, you don't need to like hustle and do all of these things. It was an unexpected feeling that I didn't anticipate. And it was very hard for me to leave my son and go back to work. And it just made me feel like, what am I doing?
emily_gorrie:
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
cristin_wondergem:
I'm leaving my son and I'm going to work and... I'm sitting in like a cubicle and answering emails and looking at spreadsheets and doing these, you know, seemingly mundane things. And of course, compared to raising a child, like
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
from my perspective, like there's nothing that like compares clearly raising a child is so much more profound and important.
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
But yeah, those were some of the initial struggles and you know, I can of course laugh about it now because it's like, well, I think that's just what it means to be a mom. Like you are always struggling with like who you are and like
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
being a mom and they are both just important things, but they're constantly kind of like gnawing at each other. So
emily_gorrie:
Totally.
cristin_wondergem:
I will say now my son's 18 months. I'm definitely a little bit more at peace with it. Obviously still there's that entrepreneurial spirit in me. That's like just never gonna go away, but It's okay. Like I have like the most perfect, um, that kind of works for us, like scenario where he was kind of in daycare part time. And then he's with his grandparents, um, other days of the week. And you know,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
so it's, it's working out, but that's, that's kind of what that looks like.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah, I would love to talk a little bit about, cause I'm curious this. scenario when you went back to work. I mean, this, you had felt this poll to evaluate like, is this the best thing, right? It feels like
cristin_wondergem:
Thank you.
emily_gorrie:
the struggle to leave him. And I'm curious, like, did any of that have to do with kind of the support or lack of support at like your job or like was there any like was there any flexibility for you to kind of create something within your work to support that struggle for yourself? I mean was there support in the office? Was there any flexibility you know in working remotely or like what it did was there any even opportunity because I think some companies are open to those I just wonder what that looked like for
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah,
emily_gorrie:
you.
cristin_wondergem:
you know, unfortunately, it's just not like a very flexible office situation. We do work remote one day a week, which is beautiful, amazing. I will definitely take it. But yeah, you know, going through this period of kind of back to work, it definitely made me think about like, wow, what would the world look like? if working moms could have, you know, this transition period of six months to a year where they work remotely or they come into the office just one day a week and the rest of the time it's at home. And, you know, it definitely made me think of all of that because I that was not an option for me. And I think it definitely it made it hard. It it just, I mean, in so many ways, like even
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
just breastfeeding and trying to pump and all of these things. It's just, it was difficult and it was not mom friendly. I remember at that time really realizing, so that was at about four months. I went back to the office at about four months, which I'm so grateful for. I know so many women don't even get that.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
But I just remember thinking at that time, The world does not care about mothers.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah, unfortunately,
cristin_wondergem:
And
emily_gorrie:
yeah,
cristin_wondergem:
yeah,
emily_gorrie:
very true.
cristin_wondergem:
that was just a real feeling that I kind of sat with because, you know, your, four months is still just so fresh, you
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
know, especially for a first time mom, like it's just,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
yeah,
emily_gorrie:
And
cristin_wondergem:
so.
emily_gorrie:
you're not even like guaranteed to be sleeping at four
cristin_wondergem:
I
emily_gorrie:
months,
cristin_wondergem:
thought,
emily_gorrie:
right?
cristin_wondergem:
oh yeah,
emily_gorrie:
Like,
cristin_wondergem:
no.
emily_gorrie:
I don't know many babies that are like sleeping long stretches at four months old.
cristin_wondergem:
Right. Exactly.
emily_gorrie:
Like
cristin_wondergem:
I
emily_gorrie:
maybe
cristin_wondergem:
know.
emily_gorrie:
if you decided to, I mean, I think back to my daughter, my daughter just turned two in December. So I think back to, I think maybe four months we were getting like the first stretch was like, I don't know, five hours, five, six hours. So like we still weren't like getting like long stretches overnight. I think we had put her in her nursery at that time, but I was still sleeping on the chair in her nursery because I was terrified to not be sleeping in the the same room as her because as a new time mom, you listen to like, you know, all the American Academy of Pediatric recommendations and the recommendations is to keep them in their in your room for six months and like, I don't know, for my husband and my sanity, we are not keeping her in our room for six months.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
Like we could not. So yeah, you have all this pressure and then really you're not even like guaranteed to be sleeping and now and your priorities changing, and your physicalities changing, and your needs changing. So that's why, yeah, it is wild and horrifically unfair when it comes to just the support of moms in the workplace.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, and you know, I wish I had like a really good answer or plan for how it could all work out for everyone. But
emily_gorrie:
I know.
cristin_wondergem:
sadly, I don't no matter how much I thought about it.
emily_gorrie:
I know. Yep. I have these conversations like regularly too with like moms outside of this podcast and I'm always like, and I am grateful for my friends because they always reel me back in. I'm like, there's gotta be something we
cristin_wondergem:
Thank
emily_gorrie:
can do.
cristin_wondergem:
you.
emily_gorrie:
They're like, Emily, okay. Like in your own world, you have to just make some movements in your own universe and then start will start to spiral out and we can continue to make progress, not these step backs, unfortunately, that we're starting to see a little bit. But I am grateful for friends to reel me back in, because I have the same thought. I think about it all the time. I'm like, there's got to be something we can do. So what has it been like? So you're back, he's 18 months old, you're back. right of leaving him, you know, you've got to sound like a really great support system that you've created family some daycare systems. Like, what does it look like now for you at work? Like are there like challenges that you have in terms of, you know, expectations of you maybe outside of the workplace? I worked crazy hours. I was always out entertaining people or you know going to different events and trying to meet people and It's not Family-friendly. So what is I mean? What does that does? What does that look like for you at work? Are there like any expectations of you that just are horrifically unfair
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, you know, I think that this is, I'm like this part of it kind of like outweighs like the unflexibility
emily_gorrie:
Hmm.
cristin_wondergem:
of not being remote. There's definitely a hard stop, like nine to five
emily_gorrie:
Hmm.
cristin_wondergem:
boundary, which I really respect and appreciate because I've been in agency, like agency world where. the hours are long and they're 24-7 and you answer when a client calls you. So that's not the case where I'm at now, which I am so grateful and appreciative for. And I will say that I have an incredible, an incredible boss. My supervisor, she is fantastic when it comes to trying to maintain like good work life balance and
emily_gorrie:
Hmm.
cristin_wondergem:
and boundaries with that and has never made me feel like work trips, you know, certain work trips, of course, I must go on that are kind of like a no negotiation. But
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
there are a lot of things where it's like, hey, this is not a requirement. So don't feel that you have to go. And that, to me, I'm so appreciative of that, because I there was this big work trip. around the time that I was coming back and I was like I cannot be gone for five days.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
I absolutely cannot be gone. And quite frankly, I've kind of only just in the last maybe four months been comfortable with work travel.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
So in that regard, I feel like I'm kind of lucky and appreciative of that flexibility and understanding.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah. Would you say that being upfront about that too has also been like super important? Like being vocal about the kind of boundaries that you have for being able to be home with your son?
cristin_wondergem:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, I think it's incredibly important. And if you're I don't know if you're wanting me to answer like it is it was helpful for me that my boss said to me first before I had to ask her like,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
hey, if you don't like this isn't a requirement if you don't feel comfortable going
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
like you don't have to go. To me, that was huge because again, being like this, you know, very like work focused person, I don't want to let anyone down. And or just kind of like that feeling of like, oh, this expectation, is it going to look bad if I asked to not go.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
So from that perspective, I think it's like incredibly important that that's kind of like upfront and very transparent about that. But for myself, I will say. within the last six months, I've definitely been working more on boundaries of like saying no.
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
Even in my personal life, like it's okay for me to say no to not go to this like playdate or this like brunch thing or like dinner
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
with girlfriends or like those are all like it's okay. I have my notifications turned off at a certain time on my phone.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I really love what you said to you about how your boss was the kind of the start of that, right? She approached you and kind of gave you that permission to say, hey, actually, this doesn't work for me. And I think it just really highlights the value and the importance of lifting one another up. Like your boss is that support for you. find as women in workplaces, think about who's on our team, right? Are we a boss of women who are experiencing new motherhood? And can we show up for them a little bit differently within the corporate space and give them permission to support themselves? It's just so important. I think that's also missed sometimes in the workplace of even an entrepreneurship too, is perhaps not talked about or it's just like, you know, not vocalized outwardly and we like deal with a lot of it. The shame, the guilt, the what ifs, the what do, you know, how is this going to look? What are other people going to think internally? And in a community, it takes a lot of that away. So I just love that you have that person and just makes me think like if we can all just reflect on do we have, can we be that person to somebody else? And
cristin_wondergem:
right.
emily_gorrie:
so part somebody else through that, that experience just by saying something.
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
So I love that you shared that and I think that's just so powerful. And I feel like the boundary thing is something we're always, always working on.
cristin_wondergem:
Oh yeah. It's an ongoing thing.
emily_gorrie:
an ongoing thing and we should celebrate it when we get it right, when we do something and say no to something that makes us feel good. So
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
we should celebrate that. So would you say, how do you support yourself then? Like what gives you like the energy that you feel like Kristen? Like what does, you know, like how are you supporting yourself? Because we can get lost in motherhood, right? There's a lot of times where maybe what had given us us pause now. So how do you like what do you do to make you feel more like yourself?
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, I mean, it definitely goes back to kind of the slowing down of things I before I had my son, what would make me feel like just completely like, oh, this is so fun or recharged was definitely being like with a group of friends and kind of, you know, that extrovert sort of energy of getting like recharged by being with others.
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
But now it's really just like I want to have some alone time and if that means like I'm watching Bravo and you know having my favorite like seltzer water and you know taking some time to do like all of my skincare routine and
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
just doing self care and like journaling like that. Definitely it makes me, I guess, feel like Kristen, just kind of being able to have
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
space for my thoughts and feelings and just kind of, just some quiet, quiet time.
emily_gorrie:
I love that. And how do you balance that with your partner? So your husband, is he similar? Or does he still get recharged by being out with people?
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, you know, it's funny actually that you asked that because I'm just now realizing that we are very similar is kind of you know, we both were kind of like extrovert always like wanting to like be with our friends and out and about but we were just talking last weekend about how we just want to be at home on the weekends.
emily_gorrie:
Mm-hmm.
cristin_wondergem:
We
emily_gorrie:
I love
cristin_wondergem:
no
emily_gorrie:
it.
cristin_wondergem:
longer like want to you know, go out and do all of these things and you know, part of that is right, like you're just, there's a genuine like exhaustion that comes with being a parent to a toddler, like if we're just being honest
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
and real. But yeah, just, yeah, so to answer your question, like, yeah, I think he's definitely similar in that.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah, I love that for you because it's funny. I ask because I feel like very similar to what you just shared. It feels like it's very important for me to have that time to myself, space to myself. And when I'm at stay-at-home mom, so my daughter goes to daycare a couple of hours, three days a week, like that's it. And I'm running this podcast, I'm trying to do all these things. And my husband is the opposite of me. Like if he has my daughter for the day, he will go and do things. He takes
cristin_wondergem:
Uh.
emily_gorrie:
her to see his friends. He takes her to like different festivals. Like they went down to try and see the cherry blossoms in Belbo Park in San Diego the other day and like I'm exhausted like thinking about his
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
day and he loves it. He loves it. So it's so hard for us. We were a little combative in the, I was like, you can have one day of the weekend where the second night of the weekend, I would like to be home. Thanks so much. So it's always interesting when you like think about your partner and figuring out the balances of the two and how your priorities change. And it's always interesting. Like I think about my husband, his priorities more so now he loves his friends. He loves being with them. He wants to share his life with them and like still be a part of theirs. do things. For me, I'm like, I know my friends will love me. I am
cristin_wondergem:
right?
emily_gorrie:
so tired. Like
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
physically, I don't want to get off this couch right now. Thank you.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
It's so hard. It's so hard
cristin_wondergem:
That's
emily_gorrie:
to balance.
cristin_wondergem:
what Girl Scripts were for.
emily_gorrie:
Yes. Yes. I was like, I'll see you every six months and
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
we'll talk on the phone and we'll send like fun little memes on Instagram to each other and it'll
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
be fine. It'll
cristin_wondergem:
Exactly.
emily_gorrie:
tell you be fine. It's so hard.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, it is.
emily_gorrie:
to just social media. And you've been in this space for over a decade. You were doing a lot of the work for some clients and now you're in-house at your nine to five. And I just, from your perspective, how do you approach like your own personal social media? I mean, is it something that like gives you energy and you love being a part of it? like from your nine to five or is it something that you like have to take a pause from?
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, great question. So I really had to take a pause from social media around the time where I was having that identity crisis
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
because I didn't know like how to show up anymore because I really had built this, you know, self-perceived what have you like
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
that's how I felt I showed up as you know, this person and like this is what I share. Well I have always kind of shared some like life stuff in between. I didn't feel like I could just all of a sudden transition to
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
not sharing anything about social media anymore. So I definitely had to take a pause because I didn't know who I was
emily_gorrie:
Fair.
cristin_wondergem:
in the social space. I feel like that sounds so ridiculous and dramatic, but that is very honest. Also around this time, I mean, 2020, 2021, like the pandemic and all of that stuff and
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
working in digital marketing and, you know, overseeing and managing social accounts for, you know, a brand is, it was exhausting to just the constant online chatter. And so,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
I mean, we all... I don't know, it was a negative place to be and to work. And it was really hard. And it really could definitely contribute into some burnout. But
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
so I had to take like a serious pause and I just didn't post anything for so long.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
So I don't know. I feel like I just kind of got myself back a little bit. And I don't
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
know.
emily_gorrie:
Well,
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
I'm curious because I am perhaps this can be like applied to different entrepreneurial businesses, like small businesses, even brands like how would you like from your experience, like, I think it's one thing to like not quite know how you want to show up anymore. Because I think that's so valid. And I think a lot of us go through it of like, our priorities are changing, how we want to spend our time, how does it make us feel? How do you, like from, like even maybe just a brand perspective, like from your experience in this industry, like how do you handle like a rebrand like that? Like let's say you knew, like somebody knew how they wanted to like show up, but it was different than how they were functioning in that space before. Like what do you, how do you recommend this transition? Or what do you recommend to clients or to like your brands like make this shift and maybe you should be more vulnerable or share more realities or you know shift expectations of your audience.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, I feel like my, my advice is never what I do myself.
emily_gorrie:
Ha ha ha. Yeah, funny how that happens.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, I mean, my, my advice would be, you know, if you're feeling like you are just like, you've built up an audience, and that is no longer how you want to show up online. I would say if it's vastly different than how I don't know, like if you're going into like completely different industries and I
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
guess maybe I don't know.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah, it makes
cristin_wondergem:
Something
emily_gorrie:
sense.
cristin_wondergem:
like that. I would just honestly start from scratch and just start
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
over. That would be my advice. Because if you're yeah, if you're just not wanting to show up the same way anymore, like it doesn't matter because likely you have built up an audience expecting something from you and
emily_gorrie:
Yep.
cristin_wondergem:
that audience might just dwindle away anyhow and then that can just contribute to some frustrating things like really low engagement and that can be
emily_gorrie:
Hmm
cristin_wondergem:
really defeating versus just kind of starting from scratch and I know that that's really hard for some people to hear. I have not yet done that myself. I'm still trying to work through that so I know it's hard but that
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
is what I would suggest. That's my professional opinion.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah, I think it's interesting, right? Because we have to think about our own personal self and kind of where our, for lack of a better word, trauma sits. Like if we think about it, what would be harder to endure?
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
This community that we've built thus far with this certain expectations of us based on how we've shown up in the past and we change it up completely. We do a 180, we start posting different things to see that community leave and walk away. Like, I don't know what would be harder, like seeing that
cristin_wondergem:
All right.
emily_gorrie:
break apart or starting a community in a different channel, right,
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
completely from scratch. I mean, that's such an interesting perspective. Because yeah, what would be harder? I mean, I think it would probably hurt
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
me to see things fall apart.
cristin_wondergem:
Right. Especially, I mean, because they're still like that, you know, if you have, you know, a significant following, like, I mean, any following on social media, I think is significant. Right. If you think about that many people in one room. But
emily_gorrie:
Yes.
cristin_wondergem:
you had to kind of see that filtering off and then just like your hard work almost going down the drain. It can be painful.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
I have a really great girlfriend. She had a very large following. I mean, large. to me in my opinion, like 65,000
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
followers. And she was doing the whole like makeup thing and had worked in the makeup industry for around 10 years. And then she had a big chef, motherhood. And you know, now she's doing something completely different. She is kind of in the event space. She sells like pompous grass and does all these beautiful arrangements and whatnot. But yeah, I remember her telling me, she's like, every time I post something. I lose like a thousand followers.
emily_gorrie:
Yep.
cristin_wondergem:
And it like, it's like, you know, a knife to the chest.
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
So, you know, it can be tough.
emily_gorrie:
It can be absolutely tough. Yeah, I give her credit for showing up and just doing it. I think it's so interesting and I am curious to your opinion because I this is a personal thought that I have had and I I'm just going to share it for the sake of being vulnerable here. Like, I think about showing up personally in an endeavor that means so much to me. For me, it's so so at where at the point right now like just over 200 or so followers on Instagram. And it has not been, Instagram has not been a like main focus or priority for me. But I think about the majority of those people who, okay, I shouldn't say majority. I don't have that many like close, close, close personal friends. But I feel like a lot of those people are people that have known me through different endeavors. Family, childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, friends from when I, you know, was working, when I was doing some consulting, like these are people that I've met through all different phases of Emily. It feels almost shameful to me sometimes to do something different and just try something else and like make another pivot to what feels aligned for myself
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
in these moments and showing up on social media is so much harder for me than I expected because
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah. Gosh, yeah, I mean, you're not alone in that. I mean, those are some of the thoughts that kind of like went through my head, like, oh, what are they thinking?
emily_gorrie:
Mmm.
cristin_wondergem:
Like, oh, what is she doing now? Oh!
emily_gorrie:
Yeah. Yeah. She's doing what now? Okay.
cristin_wondergem:
you know,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
um,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah.
cristin_wondergem:
yeah, I understand
emily_gorrie:
It's so hard.
cristin_wondergem:
that. Yeah, it is hard, but I don't know. I don't know. We got to just be true to ourselves and show up how, um, you know, we feel. I think that it's just kind of like, it's a good lesson, right? That like life is really always evolving. You are always evolving and it's okay to change.
emily_gorrie:
Hmm
cristin_wondergem:
Um, I don't know. I struggle with that too,
emily_gorrie:
Yeah, I think it's funny. I mean, you just said it's okay to change. Like I just had this thought to myself like, okay, if I haven't changed and I haven't evolved and I'm still the Emily of 10 years ago, I don't want that. I don't want to be
cristin_wondergem:
Alright.
emily_gorrie:
who I was 10 years ago. So
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
maybe if we all just think about it that way, it's like, who were we five years ago? Who
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
were we 10 years ago? Do you still want to be that exact person in that exact situation? For me, the answer is no, I don't want that I'm super proud of who
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
I am now. But are there parts of that? Maybe. And maybe we can think about what parts would we want to get back and how can we start putting some feet forward towards that.
cristin_wondergem:
That's good.
emily_gorrie:
Right? I just had that thought.
cristin_wondergem:
Oh,
emily_gorrie:
I don't know.
cristin_wondergem:
yeah.
emily_gorrie:
Like, I don't know if I want to be that person.
cristin_wondergem:
Right now that is such a great perspective. That's a good way to think about it. Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
All right, it just came to me. Thanks for letting me share it.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah, of course.
emily_gorrie:
You can probably hear my daughter screaming in the background. So this is real life, folks.
cristin_wondergem:
real life.
emily_gorrie:
We are hitting it hard.
cristin_wondergem:
Thank you
emily_gorrie:
It
cristin_wondergem:
so
emily_gorrie:
is
cristin_wondergem:
much.
emily_gorrie:
almost bedtime here at this house. But I appreciate you being so honest and vulnerable with me and kind of sharing this story and journey that you've been on for so many years now Congratulations on your son. So
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
beautiful. It's just such a moving experience that I think if we can be honest about what we are going through and the choices we make based on what aligns for us right now, all we can do is bring support and comfort to a community of women like us. So thank you so much for sharing. I would love to give you just a quick 30 seconds. Are you on social media?
cristin_wondergem:
I am, I am
emily_gorrie:
Okay
cristin_wondergem:
on social media. I am making a resurgence. Um, yeah,
emily_gorrie:
I love
cristin_wondergem:
so
emily_gorrie:
it.
cristin_wondergem:
you could follow me at Kristen Wondergem on Instagram and TikTok. I've been experimenting on TikTok. So, you know, don't judge if you show up there.
emily_gorrie:
I don't even have a TikTok account, so maybe I'll have to start. You'll have to give me some tips. I'm a little too scared. I feel like I'm too old for that.
cristin_wondergem:
Oh goodness, I feel old. Too old every day I'm on that app.
emily_gorrie:
I was just saying to my husband, I was like, I wouldn't quite give, I would definitely not say that this like younger generation, I'm a millennial. So like these like younger generations are definitely not unintelligent. These people
cristin_wondergem:
Oh no.
emily_gorrie:
are so smart that I'm shit for lack of a better word
cristin_wondergem:
Yes.
emily_gorrie:
that they come up with. I'm like, what the heck? Like just access to so much knowledge. I'm like, I don't think I'm ready for that. And it's on TikTok and I'm not ready.
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah,
emily_gorrie:
It's too
cristin_wondergem:
well,
emily_gorrie:
much.
cristin_wondergem:
but at the same time, I feel like they know too much too
emily_gorrie:
I'm
cristin_wondergem:
soon.
emily_gorrie:
sorry.
cristin_wondergem:
And not even like, you know, being like a mother hen, but like, they're so mature and I'm just like, wait a minute, shouldn't you be like, go, go play with Barbies? Why are you?
emily_gorrie:
Yeah,
cristin_wondergem:
Why is your makeup flawless?
emily_gorrie:
yes, right? Like these kids are, I know,
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
12, 13, 14,
cristin_wondergem:
Right.
emily_gorrie:
and they know more than, I mean, I don't even wanna know what I was doing at 12, 13,
cristin_wondergem:
Yeah.
emily_gorrie:
and 14 compared to what these kids are doing. Oh, well, thank you again so much for sharing this and we'll link your Instagram and your TikTok on the show notes so people can check it out and engage and just really appreciate you being here.
cristin_wondergem:
Thank you so much for having me. It was awesome chatting with you.
emily_gorrie:
Thank you.